It's a Marvelous Life
by apk1980
Summary: Bella and Emmett have a beautiful life before an accident changes everything. This is a story of moving forward when you've lost everything. AH
1. Chapter 1

**This is a repost of The Burning Marvelous Life. I changed the name, but it's the exact same (with a few grammar corrections). Thanks to all the folks who sent me a copy of TBML. I really appreciate it so much! Anyway, enjoy. :) I'll try to post a chapter a day, at least. Let's keep our fingers crossed that they don't delete it again!**

When I was three years old, Emmett Cullen ran up my driveway with not a stitch of clothing on his four year old self. I loved him from that moment forward. We were neighbors from birth. He chased me with earthworms and I chased him for kisses. We watched scary movies together and camped in our back yards. We were inseparable.

In 6th grade, he asked me to be his girlfriend and we have been together since. I am completely aware that what we have is rare and should not be taken for granted. It has lasted through braces, glasses, retainers, perms, mullets, and acne. It has lasted through jealousy, irrational arguments, and Emmett's revenge kiss with Jessica Stanley at our Jr. Prom. Our relationship remained unblemished through all of college at U-dub, much to the chagrin of one exceptionally vapid cheerleader named Lauren.

After college, Em proposed and I said yes with no hint of hesitation. We moved into a sweet little duplex in Seattle smack dab in the middle of our commutes to work. I work at the Seattle Public Library and Emmett works in an accounting firm as a CPA. Better him than me. Numbers tend to confuse me and generally leave me feeling disappointed in myself. I live for the written word. I adore the way a book can transport me to other worlds and cultures. I fall in love with characters, and I mourn their loss when the story is over. I love that I am surrounded by books every day. I work in the children's section at the library and am in charge of the toddler's and children's story time.

Luckily, Emmett's salary allows me to work part time and I have been diligently working on the "Great American Novel" for the past 2 years. Basically, I sit in my office and stare at my laptop screen for a few hours per day, often just typing random words and praying for a breakthrough from my crippling writer's block.

I had been typing lyrics to all the Beatles songs I could think of when I heard the doorbell. I jumped out of my seat, so relieved to have a distraction that I literally skipped to the door. Jasper, Emmett's cousin and inhabitant of the other half of our home, stood on the stoop bearing sandwiches. My stomach snarled at the smell of sausage, peppers, and cheese. I pulled Jasper in the door and almost certainly elbowed him in the face trying to wrestle the bag from his hands.

"Jesus Christ, B! Hungry?" he moaned as he doubled over, fist pressed into his eye.

"Sorry, Jazz! I haven't eaten all day," I explained as I pulled plates and cups from the cupboard. I motioned for him to sit as I attempted to stuff half of my sandwich into my mouth in one very ladylike move. I chewed as politely as I could manage, having to go so far as to hold a napkin in front of my face as Jasper looked on with what could only be described as horrified fascination. When I was able to swallow and wipe my face clean of delicious marinara, Jasper cleared his throat and finally dug into his own sandwich.

"So, Rose tells me you guys finally set a date?" Rosalie is my best friend and Jasper's sister. She and I have always had a tumultuous and fierce friendship. We argue like sisters, but we also defend one another like sisters. I couldn't ask for a better friend. She puts up with all my crazy and I put up with all her bitchy. Rose is gorgeous. She's tall, willowy, blond, peaches and cream complexion with hair the color of sunshine. Rose could have any man she desired, hands down. Unfortunately for the male population, Rose is madly in love with her girlfriend, Tanya. She broke many, many boy hearts when she came out as a lesbian our junior year of college.

"We have. We've decided on June 12 of this year." I replied, stuffing a stray pepper into my mouth. We had been engaged for over 2 years now, and our family and friends reveled in harassing us to set a date. We weren't avoiding the event, by any stretch of the imagination. We were just so comfortable and satisfied with the way our lives were already mingled that time slipped by without notice. I heard the garage door open, and there he was; the love of my life.

He was slightly rumpled in his blue button down shirt and gray slacks, his shirt already untucked. Emmett was definitely into comfort. He tended to loosen his tie and untuck his shirt a tad earlier than was acceptable. I loved that he loved t-shirts and sweats. He was always ready for cuddling and his t-shirts were super soft from wear. I stood and he wrapped his arms tightly around me, pressing his face into my hair and breathing deeply.

"I missed you today," he murmured as he lifted my chin with his finger so he could press his lips to mine in a sweet, chaste kiss.

He turned to Jasper and smiled widely, flashing his dimples. "Hey Jazz. Did Bella tell you we finally have a date?" he asked as I gathered a plate for his sandwich and a beer from the fridge.

"Yeah, we were just talking about that," Jasper replied. "Congratulations, man!"

"Thanks," Emmett hesitated, "Listen, Jasper. I was hoping you'd be my best man?"

Jazz stood and they did that strange half hug, smack on the back thing that all men do. "Of course I will, man! I'd be honored."

"Tell Alice to call me, please. I'd like to ask her to be a bridesmaid," I said, cringing on the inside. I like Alice. Really. In small doses. Alice is extremely excitable and loud. And, squeaky. And bouncy. And LOUD. But, Jasper loves her, so she and I are thrust together a lot. She is still in school getting her degree in art and she is an extremely talented fiber artist. I know she'll be very enthusiastic about helping pick color schemes and dress designs for the wedding, and I try to remind myself that this is a good thing.

Jasper agreed to let her know and I wandered away from the boys to let them have their manly conversation. I decided to take a nice bath and gathered my towel, pj's, and a book before drawing the hottest, bubbliest bath I could manage. I relaxed slowly into the deep tub, letting the hot water soothe my muscles. My back and neck were screaming at me from sitting at my desk all day. I closed my eyes and drifted off without even cracking open my book.

I woke up to kisses all over my face and ears. "Lets get you out of here," Emmett murmured, pressing a very sweet kiss to my mouth. He helped me out of the tub and slowly dried me with a towel. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, breathing in deeply to catch his spicy boy smell. His arms were wrapped so tightly around my waist, I was unable to draw a deep breath. I loved Em's hugs. They were completely sincere, always face to face- never a side hug, and always borderline too tight. They made me feel safe, loved, and small in the most deliciously feminine way.

We drifted slowly to the bed, Emmett's clothes leaving a trail behind us. As we crawled into bed, I was overwhelmed with the love and contentment I felt in my life. As we kissed, licked, touched, and whispered our love to each other, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was put on this earth to love and be loved by this man. Later, his breathing was deep and slow as his head lay on my stomach. I rubbed his soft brown curls, and heard his contented sigh. He moved up so our heads were close together on my pillow and pressed his forehead to mine. "I love you," he breathed as he fell asleep.

I studied his face in slumber. He was so lovely. His jaw was strong, and always showed a hint of stubble. His dimples were so deep, you could see the evidence of them even when his face was relaxed. His beautiful blue eyes were surrounded by the most ridiculously thick black lashes, and his brows were thick but not unruly. His lips were perfect; plump pouty things that I loved to kiss. I ran my arms over his broad shoulders and down his long, muscular back. His muscles were thick and smooth, large but not bulky. I gently scratched his back as I snuggled closer into his chest. I fell asleep feeling lucky and excited to start the next phase of our lives together.

x

When I woke up the next morning, I felt really terrible. My eyes were swollen, my tongue felt hairy and thick, like I was going to vomit, and I felt like I could sleep for a week and not be completely rested. I felt hungover. I looked over at the alarm clock, startled when I saw that it was 12:30. Confused, I glanced at my window, noting the sun was indeed out. I slept past noon. Slowly, I made my way to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I looked pale, with dark circles under my eyes. My head was pounding and my nose was clogged. I took a hot shower, standing in the steam as long as I could, hoping for some relief from feeling so yuck.

I felt a little better as I dressed and I headed into the kitchen for some breakfast. Emmett was sitting at the table, eating a sandwich. He smiled when I walked in the room. "Good morning, sleepy head!" he teased.

"Morning," I muttered as I walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek. He pulled me into his lap and looked at my face closely.

"Are you feeling ok, Baby? Your eyes are a little glassy." He felt my forehead with the back of his hand. "You're nice and cool."

"I'm fine," I assured him. "I felt like shit when I woke up, but I feel better now. Maybe I just got too much sleep."

"Alright, Bells," he nodded, seeming convinced. "I have to run a few errands today. Do you want me to pick something up for supper or did you want to cook something here?"

"Will you grab some onions and ground beef? I really feel like having chili tonight," I answered, digging in the refrigerator for turkey and mayonnaise. I began to put my sandwich together while Emmett stood to wash his plate. He wrapped me up in a tight hug and kissed my neck.

"Sure thing," he whispered. He turned me in his arms and kissed me lightly on the mouth. "I'll be home in a few hours. I love you."

"I love you, too," I smiled. I quickly ate my sandwich and washed my plate. I stood for a minute, thinking of what I could accomplish for the day. It was Saturday, and I felt truly lazy. I decided to walk over and see what Jasper was doing. I lifted my fist to the door and it flew open before I could knock.

"Bella!" Alice squealed. "I was just coming to see you! Jazzy said you wanted to talk to me?"

Wow. Already, I regretted the decision to come here. _She's a nice girl. She's a nice girl. She's a nice girl. _Her voice was just way too perky... and squeaky... and loud for me today. She seemed to be vibrating and she was definitely bouncing on her toes a bit.

"Reign it in a little, Alice," I chuckled. "I just wanted to ask if you'd like to be a brides-" I couldn't even finish my sentence. She squealed so shrilly and loudly I put my hands to my ears to check for blood. She was talking a hundred miles an hour, but I couldn't make out anything due to the ringing in my ears. She was a frenzy of bouncing and hugging and giggling and babbling and I was suddenly very, very dizzy. I was so dizzy, in fact, that I just sat right down on the stoop and bent forward at the waist trying to calm the spinning and the blood that seemed to be pounding in my ears.

I was nauseous from the spinning and I had to take small little gasps of air from my mouth to stop myself from vomiting right there. I heard Alice scream for Jasper and I felt a large, very warm hand between my shoulder blades.

"Bella, are you ok? Do you need a doctor?" Jasper asked, worry evident in his strained voice.

"No, I'm ok. I've been feeling a little sick today. I feel a little better, really. I'm just gonna go home and lie down for a while, I think."

Jasper nodded, but insisted on walking me the three feet to my door. He helped me inside and got me settled on the couch. He gathered the tv remote, a pillow and blanket from my bedroom, and brought me a big glass of water. He kissed me on the forehead and reminded me unnecessarily and repeatedly that he was right next door if I needed him. I was about 5 minutes into an episode of The Golden Girls when my eyelids drooped and I was soon fast asleep.

I woke with a start. My breath came in huge gasps and my heart was pounding out of my chest as I tried to figure out what had snatched me from my slumber. It was dark in my house, and I felt very disjointed and just... strange. "Jesus Christ, I've slept the day away!" I muttered to myself. I jumped and squeaked when my phone rang and I realized that was probably what woke me in the first place.

"Emmett?" I called, wondering if he was home yet. I got no reply and I fumbled with my phone trying to answer it. I didn't recognize the number on the caller i.d. and I was very tempted to ignore it.

"Hello?" I sighed.

"Miss Swan? This is Grace at Northwest Hospital. There's been an accident."

I ran to Jasper's and he drove to the hospital, clutching my hand in his and whispering soothing words... Promising that everything would be ok. When we got to the hospital, we ran inside and were lead to a quiet room with 2 chairs and a desk. A very lovely woman walked in and smiled sympathetically at us.

"Miss Swan?" I nodded, dumbly. "I am so sorry. The doctors did everything they could, but-" I stared at her face and watched her mouth move. All I could feel was cold, heavy numbness along my nose and jaw and and heavy, heavy dread in my stomach.. in my very bones.. in my joints. I couldn't comprehend much, but I gathered that Emmett had been in a car accident and had died in the emergency room.

I don't know how I got back to the car and I don't remember getting back to Jasper's. I do know when I opened my eyes again, it was very, very bright. I was wrapped in strong arms and for a minute, just for a lovely, bliss filled minute, I felt absolute relief knowing it was all a nightmare. I took a deep breath through my nose and quickly, like a punch in my stomach, the dread and complete anguish surrounded me again. It wasn't my Emmett's spicy boy smell hugging me. It was Jasper's smokey, peppermint smell, and I sobbed. I felt his arms tighten and felt his chest heave with his own heavy sobs.

I shut down.

The next few days were shrouded in a grief-induced fog. I vaguely registered my parents' quiet words and comforting hugs. I knew Emmett's family was in our house, moving like ghosts and speaking very softly, as if afraid to disturb the perfect sorrow. His mother and I spent a lot of time sitting on the small sofa in the living room, holding hands and staring blankly as people moved around us.

There were people everywhere- murmuring, buzzing; their faces were all the same. The funeral was horrible. I kissed Emmett's cold cheek and I wanted with all my heart to crawl into his casket and die beside him. I sobbed and heaved and trembled and truly felt my heart harden and plummet as they lowered my love and best friend into the ground.

I felt numb again, and that was a relief. People spoke to me and hugged me and patted me and I felt nothing. Our families left the following day. My mother sobbed and begged me to come home with her. I needed her to leave. I needed time alone. I needed silence. I actually comforted her- made her believe I would be alright when they left. She promised to call me when they got home and walked out the door.

I was not alright.

I walked into the bedroom and sat on the floor. I picked up Emmett's blue button-down from the clothes basket behind the closet door and wrapped it around my shoulders. I breathed in deeply and curled in a ball on the floor. His smell brought my pain and emptiness back into sharp focus. My chest hurt so much from crying and at the very same time it hurt with the strain of trying not to cry. I could feel his warm hugs and soft kisses. I could still feel his soft hair in my fingers and his stubble on my neck. There was nothing left for me. I was put on this earth to love and be loved by one man and that man was gone.

I was finished.

When Rose found me, I was still lying on the floor. I had no hope, no appetite, no desire for anything other than my own death. Rose lifted me from the floor and helped me into the bathroom. She quickly and silently undressed me and helped me into the shower. When she realized I wasn't actually washing myself, she plugged the tub and sat me down to help me bathe. I was cleaned, dried, dressed, and tucked into bed before she spoke a word to me.

"Bella," she began, tears in her voice, "I love you like my sister. I know you're hurting, but you can't shut down." I stared at her lovely face as she spoke, knowing she meant well, but that she would never say those words to me if she could feel how my heart ached. "I'm going to get something for you to eat and drink. I'll be right back." She kissed my forehead and disappeared out the door.

My days passed in much the same way. Rose and Jasper traded days to stay with me. They kept me clean and fed. They kept me company, even if we just lay on my bed and watched t.v.. Jasper wrapped my pillow with Emmett's shirt, and I hugged it to my chest. I was grateful for my friends. They didn't leave me alone for over a week. On the 9th day, Rosalie and Jasper came into my room together. They sat on either side of me and each grabbed a hand. Rose was the one who spoke- the one who changed my life almost immediately.

"Bella, I've noticed that you're still sick. Your sinuses seem clogged, you're nauseous nearly every day, and you're extremely moody. I know that you've been through a very hard couple of weeks, but I would feel better if you would take a pregnancy test. I bought a pack and they're in your bathroom. I'm almost certain that it's just stress, but this will at least let us know if you need a trip to the doctor."

I nodded, knowing that it was likely just stress. I fumbled with the test, finally peeing on the damn thing, and left it on my counter. I climbed back into bed, and Jasper pulled me onto his chest. He was making me drowsy, rubbing my back lightly, when Rose walked into the bathroom to check the test. She came back in a minute later with wide, tear-filled eyes and the test clutched in her hand.

"Bella," she whispered, "You're pregnant."


	2. Chapter 2

18 months later...

My eyes flew open when I heard a wailing, sobbing racket from the baby monitor next to my bed. I rushed down the hall to Emmy's bedroom. Eleven month old Emmy is a beautiful, very stubborn angel. Making my way to her crib, I lifted her from her little prison. She immediately quieted and lay her head on my shoulder. We stood for a moment, just enjoying the snuggle. Rocking us slowly, I hummed a bit while breathing her lovely baby scent. She smelled like a dream I once had: lavender, baby powder, and just her own sweetness mingled with the Dreft I used on our clothes. I changed her diaper quickly and dressed her in a romper.

When she was clean and dressed, we headed into the kitchen for breakfast. While I was making her oatmeal, I thought about how lucky I was to have my girl in my life. She saved me from myself at the darkest time in my life. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind about that. I looked over to her sitting in her high chair, her chubby fists shoving sweet potato puffs into her mouth, several at a time. Her precious light brown curls were falling into her face and she batted them away, showing me her big brown eyes. I smiled at her, loving the feeling I got in my heart every time I looked at her. She smiled back, showing me her deep dimples that reminded me so much of Emmett.

My doorbell rang, pulling me from my thoughts. Jasper stood on the stoop when I opened the door,holding a coffee in each hand.

"Morning, Bells!" he said, kissing me on the cheek and handing me my coffee before breezing by me into the kitchen.

"Good morning, big girl! Uncle Jazz is gonna hang out with you today!"

"Thanks so much for doing this, J. I feel so strange leaving her today!" I was going to be attending

Rosalie and Tanya's baby shower today. At eight months pregnant, Tanya had the best genes in the world. I felt in my heart that she was going to pull a Heidi Klum and be flawless immediately after giving birth to her son.

"B, don't panic. You're only gonna be gone a few hours, and Em and I have a lot to do today." He smiled ahuge, toothy grin at my girl and she smiled right back. "We're going to go play with her blocks and read and other fun baby crap," he laughed, pushing me toward my bedroom. "Go get ready. Rose is expecting you to help her set everything up."

I took a long, hot shower, taking care to shave my legs for the first time in- well, I don't know how long. I have a baby, dammit. I get approximately 2 minutes of uninterrupted shower time. You have to pick and choose when you have such limited primp time! I dried off and used some cream on my arms and legs. I took the time to blow dry and straighten my hair, and even put on mascara and lip gloss. I dressed in a casual light blue wrap top and gray trousers that fit me like a glove. I slipped on my boots and wrapped a colorful scarf around my neck. I looked in the mirror, unsure of the outfit. I looked pretty good to myself, but it had been a long time since I'd worn anything other than sweats.

I walked into the living room and stood in the doorway, watching Jasper and Emmy build a great tower on the coffee table out of the giant legos I bought her the week before. She seemed to be having an excellent time, holding onto the coffee table for balance and bouncing while Jasper tried to explain to her about solid foundations. She table surfed right over to him and sat in his folded lap and he wrapped his arms around her and hummed a sweet little tune.

I walked further into the room to give my girl some smooches and snuggles before leaving. Jasper looked up and his eyes widened dramatically. "Um.. Do I look okay? I wasn't sure- do I need to change?"

"No!" he cried, a little too loudly. "I'm sorry, Bells. You look great. It's just been a long time since I've seen you look so..." he trailed off, realizing that anything he followed up with had the potential to hurt my feelings. "You really do look nice," he finished.

"Thanks," I mumbled, feeling my face warm up a bit from the compliment. I walked over to him and grabbed Em from his lap. We sat on the sofa for a few minutes while I stole about 75 baby kisses from her sweet dimpled cheeks. She giggle and squirmed and squeaked and when I put her down, she crawled right back over to Jasper for more tower building. "Alright, the party is at 2:00, so I should be home by 5:00 at the latest."

"Don't worry, B," Jasper assured me, "we'll be fine and you're just a few blocks away!"

I grabbed my purse and keys and ruffled Jasper's hair on the way out. "Call if you need me, okay? Take care of my girl," I said, stopping to drop a kiss on both of their heads.

"Get out of here, Mommy!" Jasper laughed, turning his attention back to Emmy and the blocks.

When I got to Rosalie's house, I walked in expecting to be put right to work. I dropped my purse on the table by the front door and walked into the kitchen, finding a surprisingly calm Rose. "What can I do to help?" I asked, looking around in confusion. Everything was already set up. The table was lovely and covered with stunning white china and finger foods in warming dishes. There were flowers in the living room and the house smelled like a cookie.

"I think Tanya may be nesting," Rose snickered. "I woke up at 6:00 this morning to the sound of vacuuming and she's been a tornado of activity today! She was in the kitchen by 9:00 and everything was set up in the dining room an hour ago. I sent her up to take a shower and get ready, because she was making me crazy!"

I put the basket I brought on the gift table and Rose showed me the nursery while we waited for the party to start. "Have you guys decided on a name?" I asked. They were being very mysterious about what they were naming their little boy.

"We have," Rose answered, not divulging any more information. I knew better than to press for more, but the suspense was killing me!

"Can I have ONE hint? Please? Just the initials? Just the first initial?" I begged.

"Fine. I'll give you the first initial. J," Rose conceded. My mind whirled into action, categorizing all the J names I could think of into little piles all over my brain. I was very busy in my head when Tanya walked into the room, looking so good it was just plain rude.

"Bella!" she cried, her lovely voice snapping me from my mission. "Thanks for coming early to help set up. I guess I got a little carried away this morning," she stated with a small, shy smile. I gave her a hug and we headed back to the living room to chat and wait on her friends. Guests started filing in about 20 minutes later, and the party was lovely. There weren't any cheesy games- I couldn't imagine Tanya or Rose allowing anyone to measure Tanya's belly or sniff candy bars inside of diapers. There was lots of great food, great laughs, and fantastic gifts.

The party ended promptly at 4:00 and Tanya headed upstairs to lie down while Rose and I cleaned up. "She's exhausted," Rose giggled. "She's been up since the crack of dawn and hasn't taken a break yet!" I was piling leftovers into Tupperware containers and stacking them into the refrigerator, which was so organized it made me feel bad about myself when Rose spoke again in a quiet voice.

"Bella?" she said tentatively, "I wanted to talk to you about something." I looked up at the tone of her voice, a question in my eyes. "I know you're busy with Emmy and with your writing, but I've noticed that you don't do anything for yourself and never spend any time with adults anymore." She hesitated, looking away from me, and my stomach clenched. "I am so scared you're going to get angry, but I just wanted to put this out there, ok?" I nodded for her to go ahead and she met my eyes, apprehension written all over her face, "I was hoping you might let me set you up on a blind date. I work with this guy who is very, very nice and very, very good looking. I'm not asking you to marry him, just maybe go out for drinks."

I stared at her for a moment, trying to decipher what she had just said, as she said it in such a rush. Dread ran cold over my body as I realized what she was suggesting. I hadn't even imagined moving forward with that side of my life since Emmett passed away. It hadn't even occurred to me. When I hurried to explain as much to Rose, she held up her hand.

"Please, just think about it. I told him a little about you, and he asked me to give you his card," she stuffed a business card into my pants pocket. "I know you're not ready for love and marriage and all that, but I really do think it could do you good to get out and be around other grown ups!"

I nodded dumbly, overwhelmed by the need to escape. I mumbled my excuses and left quickly, promising to think about it as I hurried toward the door. I thought about our conversation on my way home. I just didn't feel ready to date. No part of me felt good about this idea.

I pulled into the driveway, calming almost instantly as I walked toward the front door. I walked in and laughed out loud at the sight before me. Emmy was dressed in one of her princess dresses, completely with tiara and lip gloss and was fast asleep on Jasper's chest. Jasper was lying on the couch, snoring slightly, his own tiara and lip gloss in place. I quickly snapped a picture on my phone and sat down on the edge of the sofa. I tapped Jasper's foot and he jumped, startled. He took a huge breath and looked around the room, confused. When our eyes met, he relaxed back into the couch and smiled lazily at me. "How was it?" he asked and then yawned hugely.

"It was nice. They got lots of awesome presents," I whispered. "How long has she been asleep?"

"About 20 minutes," he replied with a grin "We played hard today!"

I scooped Emmy up and put her in her crib, sans tiara. As I walked back into the living room, Jasper slowly sat up and leaned forward, elbows on knees, rubbing his eyes and removing his crown. "What are you up to tonight?" I asked, as I sat on the opposite end of the sofa.

"Nothing, actually. I was thinking of heating up a frozen pizza and watching a movie," he replied.

"Oh, where's Alice?" I asked, realizing I hadn't seen her in quite a while. "Is she out of town or something?"

"Actually, we broke up a few weeks ago," Jasper answered softly.

"What happened?" I gasped, shocked that he hadn't mentioned anything to me. Hell, Rose hadn't mentioned it either.

"It just wasn't meant to be," he replied, avoiding my eyes. He obviously didn't want to talk about it, and I didn't want to push him, so I changed the subject very smoothly.

"I have leftovers!" I blurted a few decibels too loudly. He chuckled and I continued. "I have leftover chicken tetrazzini," I coughed, lowering my voice. "Do you want to hang out for a while tonight? We can eat and watch a movie here."

"That actually sounds pretty great," he grinned at me. "I'll run and grab a couple of movies and be back in about an hour?"

I agreed and he left, vowing to come back with movies and beer. I walked into my bedroom and changed into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. I threw my hair up into a pony tail and washed my face. I was throwing my clothes into the hamper, when I remembered the card in the pocket of my pants. I glanced down at the card and noticed the name for the first time. "Edward Masen," I whispered aloud as I threw the card on my vanity and walked out of the room. "Sounds like a douche," I decided as I went to heat up my supper.

True to his word, Jasper was back 55 minutes later, with a six pack of Red Stripe in one hand and _Amelie _in the other. Emmy woke up and we ate our supper and played with the girl. We had a nice night, laughing and cuddling up on the couch. I was leaning into Jasper's chest and Emmy was lying across our laps and suddenly I felt it. I noticed the warmth of Jasper's arm around me and of his hand lightly resting on my waist. I felt my heart sputter and groan as it sprung to life, beating harder and stronger than I had felt in a very long time.

He casually rubbed his fingers on my shirt and my skin burst into goose-flesh.._Tingly _goose-flesh. I sat up quickly and jumped to my feet, nearly dropping Em right to the floor. "I'll be right back," I managed, as I hurried to my bathroom. I splashed my face with water and looked in the mirror.

"What the fuck? This is JASPER!" I thought to myself, confused and more than a little shocked by the feelings he was bringing out in me. "It's just because Rose brought up the idea of dating," I decided. I felt more than a little relieved at the thought and chuckled to myself as I walked back into the living room. Jasper was sitting on the couch alone and when I quirked an eyebrow he nodded towards the nursery. I peeked my head into Em's door and watched her sleep for a few seconds. Jasper was standing, gathering the movie and his keys when I walked back in the room.

"You leaving already?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah," he replied. "It's getting late and I haven't been home at all today." He walked over to me and scooped me up into a big hug. I was surrounded by the smell and warmth of Jasper and it was nice. Actually, it was a little too nice, so I pulled away quickly and held him at arm's length.

"Thanks for watching Em today! And, thanks for hanging out tonight. It was fun." Jasper looked into my eyes and I saw a spark of... something.. just a tiny little glimmer.

"Yeah, I had a good time, too.. 'Night Bells," he whispered and walked out the door quickly.

I stood in place for a few seconds, trying to calm my breathing and my racing mind. "What the fuck was that?" I muttered as I locked up and headed to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

On Monday, I woke up before Emmy and took the time to have a cup of coffee, relax, and watch the news for a while. Quiet time was something I didn't get nearly enough of and I took advantage when I got it.

The doorbell rang at 7:30 and Emmett's mother, Esme, was smiling on the stoop when I answered the door. "I know I'm a few minutes early, but I brought breakfast!" she exclaimed, holding up a covered tray. I let her in and she headed straight to the kitchen to unburden her arms. I offered her some coffee and while I was pouring her a mug, she asked about Emmy. "Where's my girl? I'm ready to play!" she grinned. I loved Esme. She and I had always been close, but when I found out I was pregnant with Emmy our bond was made impossibly stronger. After her grand-baby was born, she even convinced Carlisle to move to Seattle so she could watch her while I worked during the day.

"She's still sleeping," I replied. "After we eat, I'm gonna go ahead and wake her." I uncovered the tray on the table to find Esme's famous french toast, sliced fruit, and thick bacon. My mouth immediately filled with saliva and I had to swallow twice before speaking again. "Oh, my God, Esme! This looks delicious."

I took a bite, letting out an embarrasing moan of satisfaction. "Thank you so much for breakfast," I said.

"It was no trouble. I just wanted to do something nice for you. You deserve a break now and then," she said kindly, with a huge smile. "Plus, I was hoping to butter you up.." she added, hesitantly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, startled.

"I was hoping maybe you'd let Emmy spend the night with me and Carlisle tonight? I know she's never stayed away from you overnight, but we're just a phone call away and we really would love to try if you'll let us," she blurted out in one breath, looking so hopeful that I knew I wouldn't say no.

"Well," I began hesitantly, "I suppose we can try. I have no idea what I'll do with myself, though!" I giggled, nearly giddy at the idea of being able to read more than a page or two in a book at a time. Oh! Or taking a BATH! Ah, yes. This might be a nice night.

Esme smile widely and squealed like a little girl. "Oh, I'm so excited! I'm going to go pack her a little bag while you eat," she exclaimed, walking briskly to Emmy's bedroom.

I finished eating quickly and walked into the nursery. Emmy was still fast asleep, so I scooped her up and snuggled her to my chest. I hummed and swayed, gently waking her and enjoying her wake up smiles and dimples. "Miss Emmy Kate," I cooed, "You're going to spend the night with Nana and Grampa tonight!" She looked into my eyes and giggled and hummed with her sweet baby voice. I hugged her tightly and stole several kisses before setting her up with some banana cereal. I packed several bottles of formula and several containers of food while Esme took care of clothes and toys for the evening. I helped them get settled into Esme's car and waved them off, feeling nervous and excited about the prospect of a quiet night.

I worked for several hours, actually accomplishing quite a bit, and then decided to go grocery shopping. The experience was radically different than when Emmy was with me. I was in and out of the store in record time. Feeling proud of myself, I pulled into my driveway. Jasper pulled in right behind me and helped me in with my bags. "Where's the girl?" he asked as he set some bags on the counter for me.

"She's spending the night with Esme and Carlisle tonight," I told him, biting my lip nervously. I was really missing my baby! "I'm not sure what to do with myself! Do you want to hang out later?" I was really hoping for some company.

Jasper seemed to hesitate and then nodded. "Sure," he agreed. "I have a few things to do and then I can hang out. Do you want to go out or stay in?"

"Either one is fine. I can just cook and we can stay here and talk or if you have somewhere you want to go..?" I trailed off, feeling silly for being so indecisive.

"Why don't you come to my place and I'll cook this time?" Jasper suggested. "You bring the beer and movie. How do fajitas sound?" he grinned.

"Sounds great," I answered, walking him to the door. "See you around seven?"

He agreed and walked to his door. "Sounds good, Bella. See you then." I glanced at the clock. It was only 4:30, so I decided to take a nice bubble bath. I soaked and shaved and scrubbed until I was smooth and squeaky clean. It was so nice to be able to stay in the bathtub until I was pruney. I dressed comfortably in a tshirt and jeans and threw my hair up in a sloppy knot on top of my head. I had some time to kill so I called to check on Emmy and then I read a few chapters of a book. At 7:00, I grabbed the six-pack of Dos Equis I bought at the grocery store and several movies from which to choose.

Jasper answered the door in a pair of low slung jeans that looked very soft and a plain white tshirt that showed off his broad shoulders and sun-kissed skin. I glanced at the floor and noticed his feet were bare. Oh jeez. I love a barefoot boy. The strange tingling sensation was back and I had to force myself to focus.

I passed him the beer and walked in the door, immediately noticing the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. "I just pulled the tortillas from the oven, so we can go ahead and serve our plates," he said, in way of greeting.

"It smells so good in here. My mouth is watering!"

We served our plates and headed into the living room to watch a movie. We settled on _The Royal __Tenenbaums, _though we chatted more than we watched the movie. After we ate, we cuddled up together on the couch to chat and Jasper brought up Emmett in our conversation. We talked about him for quite a while, sharing funny stories with each other that we hadn't shared before. My heart was a little tender as I thought about all the wonderful memories I had of Emmett, but mostly it felt nice to reminisce. It was a good feeling to know that I enjoyed sharing my memories now instead of dreading them.

We were sitting on his small sofa, backs against opposite arms and feet towards the middle. We shared a blanket and our cold feet fought for the warm spot between the cushions. We were both quite relaxed and a little drowsy. I glanced up to notice Jasper had his eyes closed. I slowly and quietly stood from the couch and gathered my things. I tapped Jasper's shoulder and steered him toward his bedroom.

I let myself out and headed home, sighing when I walked in the door. It was so quiet. I walked to the bookshelf and grabbed an old photo album. It was filled with pictures of me and Emmett as teenagers and I looked at it slowly, lingering over almost every photo. I was so happy in all of the pictures, believing I had my entire life to love the sweet boy who was my whole world. On the last page was my favorite picture. It was a shot of Emmett and I sitting on the swing in his parent's back yard. I was laughing, my head thrown back and my mouth wide open, while Emmett looked at me, smiling softly. The look of love in his eyes was staggering, even at 18 years old, and looking at it now brought tears to my eyes.

I stared at the page for a long time. Tears fell down my cheeks and my heart ached. "I miss you so much," I whispered, tracing his face with my finger. I went into my bedroom and lay in bed a long time, wide awake and thinking. I thought about Emmett and how much I missed him: how much I missed his laugh and his hugs. It had been a long year and a half since he died, and I had been lonely. I had Emmy, of course, but I missed having someone to be with romantically. I thought about Rose giving me Edward's card and how she said she told him about me. I wanted to know what she said, because I was truly NOT that datable. I was a broken-hearted single mother with low self esteem and no game. I wondered if I was ready to try dating again. Since Rose mentioned it on Saturday, it seemed that was all I could think about.

I tried to imagine myself calling Edward and setting up a date, and realized I couldn't. I considered different scenarios, and decided that the next day I would call Rosalie and tell her that she could give Edward my number. If he called, I'd go out with him. If he didn't, no harm done. I was ready to try. I felt nervous, but so excited and filled with hope as I drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The very next day, I called Rosalie. I had some questions for that girl. "What did you say about me to Edward?" I wondered, genuinely curious how she managed to pique his interest about me. As I mentioned before, I'm a little pitiful and I truly have no game. Do people even SAY game anymore? See? I'm borderline hopeless.

I could hear the excitement in Rose's voice as she said, "I just told him you were a pretty, smart, single mom who hasn't dated in a quite a while. I told him a little about Emmett and I let him know that I doubted you were ready for anything serious, but you're extremely funny and fun to be around and I get a good feeling that you two would get along great."

I glanced at his card again, noticing his title. "Why would an orthopedic surgeon want to slum it with a barely published writer, please? Help me understand. Does he have some sort of deformity I should know about?"

"Actually, he was pretty excited that you had a daughter," Rose said, "He has full custody of his two kids, and I think he's more interested in someone who'll get along well with his children than someone who will supplement his income."

Huh. That caught my attention.

"Okay," I said simply.

"Okay?" Rose questioned tentatively. "Okay, you understand? Or, okay, you'll go out with him?"

"Okay, give him MY number," I answered. "If he wants to call, he can."

Rose let out a squeal that would rival Alice's any day, and I hung up the phone as quickly as I could without being completely rude. I called Esme to check on Emmy, and asked if I could come get her around lunch time. I decided to straighten the house, dust, and mop before jumping in the shower and heading over to the Cullen's house.

I pulled into their driveway, thinking that Emmett would have loved to have his parents live nearby. I walked in the front door without knocking and followed the high pitched giggling into the family room. Emmy was playing with her new Jumbo Fun on the Farm Stacker from Pottery Barn. The thing was crazy looking, but she loved it. She was teetering, trying to put the chicken on top, when she noticed me. She squealed and clapped, dropping to the ground and crawling at a furious pace towards me. I scooped her up and she snuggled into my neck, rubbing my skin and sighing. "Oh, my, little Emmy Kate! I missed you so much, Lovey!" I cooed at her, kissing her head.

Esme stood and nodded toward the kitchen. "Let's go grab a bite to eat, Bella. I know I have something we can throw together in the refrigerator." We walked into her dream of a kitchen, and her top half disappeared into the refrigerator. She pulled out container after container of cold-cuts, veggies, and condiments, and we made sandwiches and salads for lunch. As we ate, I noticed Esme looking at me thoughtfully. "Bella," she began, "how have you been, Dear?"

I quickly swallowed a huge bite of my sandwich and answered her, "I'm OK, Esme. I've been really missing Emmett lately. I just feel a little lonely, you know?" I had a lump in my throat and I felt my face burning red. I was so embarrassed to admit my loneliness to Esme. It felt so very wrong of me to admit to wanting a little companionship. I awkwardly looked away from her and cleared my throat.

"Bella, look at me, please," Esme pleaded. I met her eyes and watched as her eyes filled with tears.

"Listen, Bella," she began, clearing her throat. "I know how much you loved Emmett. Everyone knows how much you loved him. Darling girl, no one expects you to be alone forever. Emmett would want your life to be filled with happiness and with love," she said, her voice breaking on the last word. "I know you miss him and I know this is hard, but please try to keep your heart open to the possibility. OK?"

I stood from my chair and wrapped Esme in a hug. "I love you, you know that?" I sniffled. I hesitated for a moment before deciding to confide in her. "Rose mentioned a guy she works with that she's trying to set me up with on a blind date. The thought makes me sick, but sort of excited?" I said, though it sounded like a question.

Esme's eyes lit up just a bit, and she gave me a watery smile. "This could be a good thing, Bella. Just remember, you don't have to marry the guy. It could do you good just to get out!" she said.

"Rose said almost the exact same thing," I giggled. I answered the questions that I could about Edward and then we chatted for close to an hour, playing with Emmy and just catching up. I loaded up Em's things and Esme walked me to the door.

"I want you to know I'm available to keep Emmy when you go on your date," Esme said. "Just let me know when he calls."

"IF he calls," I corrected.

When we got home, Emmy and I played with her legos until her little eyes drooped, ready for her afternoon nap. I had just put her into her crib, when I heard my phone ring. I glanced at the caller ID and when I didn't recognize the number, I got nervous.

"Hello?"

A smooth, deep voice answered, "Hi there. Is this Bella?" Holy shit. His voice made my downstairs tingle.

"Um.. yes. This is she," I stammered, "Who's speaking, please?" _Please be Edward. Please be Edward._

"This is Edward Mason. Rose's friend? She's actually told me a lot about you, and I was hoping maybe you'd let me take you to dinner Friday night?" he sounded so confident as he spoke, it actually made me a bit more nervous. Was that really how it was done? Just so straightforward? I really figured there would be more conversation.

"Friday night?" I squeaked. "I'm pretty sure that would be fine. I just need to make sure I have a sitter."

"I understand," he answered. "How about I leave you my number, and when you find out, you call me back?"

I agreed and wrote down his cell number. We hung up and I did a spastic little dance right in the middle of my kitchen. I called Esme to ask if she could watch Emmy for me on Friday, and she agreed. I decided to wait a while to confirm with Edward, not wanting to sound completely desperate. When I called him back that evening, he answered the phone sounding a little frazzled. I could hear lots of commotion and children's squeals and giggles on his side of the phone. We agreed that he would pick me up at 8:00 Friday night, and hung up soon after.

The week rushed by in a blur, and I was so busy that I barely had any time to think of my upcoming date. Friday afternoon, however, my nerves were shot. I had a ball of butterflies in my belly and my palms were sweating. I dropped the girl off at Esme's with her little overnight back and the promise to spill every detail the next day when I went to pick up Emmy. At home, I showered and dressed with care, pulling on a flattering lightweight, knee length gray dress with my cute red flats. I left my hair wavy and put on very light makeup. Just as I was sweeping the gloss across my lips, the doorbell rang. I rushed to the door, my heart pounding in my chest, to find Jasper standing on the porch. "Hey, Bella! I was thinking of catching a movie and wondered..." he trailed off as he looked me over, thoughtfully. "Wow, you look really, really great," he told me with a grin.

"Thank you," I mumbled, "Um, I'm sorry, Jazz, but I actually have plans tonight," I explained, feeling strangely awkward.

"Oh. You going out with Rose?" Jasper asked, being uncharacteristically nosy.

"Uh.. No.. I actually have a date," I breathed quickly. At that moment, a silver Volvo pulled into the driveway and Jasper looked from the car to me several times.

"Oh. Well, then. See you later," he ground out rudely. He turned and walked to his porch, not looking back. My heart clenched as I watched him disappear into his door.

I heard a car door slam and I looked up, meeting the eyes of one of the most physically attractive men I'd ever seen. He was tall- maybe 6'2"- and lanky, but not skinny. His legs were long, but nicely shaped. His hands were beautiful, manly, long fingered creatures and my whole body hoped to make their acquaintance at some point. His face was shocking. He had an incredibly strong jaw with just a hint of stubble. His bright green eyes were surrounded by the longest, darkest lashes I'd ever seen. Even his nose was nice- straight and a little long. His hair was a little longer than I expected and completely unruly. I couldn't tell you exactly what color it was, but it appeared to be somewhere between brown and red and maybe even blond. It looked... bronze?

He was pretty impressive all around. He walked up to me and I noticed he was looking me over, as well. I felt self conscious, but I had to admit that he didn't look disappointed. He arched one perfect eyebrow and spoke, "Bella?"

My entire body was in flames. His voice was even better in person. It was smooth, deep, and velvety and it still did strange things to my girl business. "Yes, I'm Bella. You're Edward?" I rolled my eyes internally. I felt so awkward.

"I am," he answered, "I'm so happy to meet you! Are you ready to go?" I nodded, and grabbed my purse and keys. I locked the door as he waited and he walked me to the car, opening my door. As he walked back to the driver's side, I glanced towards Jasper's living room. I saw him standing in the window watching Edward walk around the car. My breath caught as I noticed his expression. His eyebrows were drawn down as if he were angry, and his lips were set in a straight line.

His eyes snapped to mine and the second he caught my eye, he turned and walked away from my line of sight. I sighed, just as Edward opened his door to climb in behind the steering wheel. I felt oddly guilty, as though I was betraying Jasper. I pushed those feelings away and focused on Edward, determined to have a nice night.


	5. Chapter 5

**So... This is more than daily. Also, I haven't been correcting grammar like I promised. I am realizing I apparently used to (maybe I should take a look at my other stories before I assume I don't have this problem anymore) have a huge issue with tenses. Sorry if it's annoying. I will maybe eventually go back and correct that. Unless someone wants to beta this thing for me. If so, let me know, please.**

My date with Edward wasn't good. He took me to a tapas bar, which was cool in theory, but it was very crowded and a little loud for conversation. We fell into an easy pattern of "getting to know you" questions while we waited on the server to bring us menus. When she arrived at our table, Edward spoke up before she could say a word. He ordered drinks and food for both of us without consulting me. I was honestly irritated by this but I held my tongue, figuring I was just out of practice.

We had a nice chat about our children. He asked questions about Emmy and I asked about his three year old twins, Alec and Jane. We showed off photos of the loves of our lives and oohed and ahhed when appropriate. He told me about his ex-wife, Heidi, who left when his children were 10 months old, to "find herself" with the 20 year old gardener. I instantly disliked her, as I couldn't imagine _anything_luring me away from my baby.

I was very impressed by the way he spoke of his children and I could tell that he loved them. When he mentioned that he had two full-time nannies, I was surprised, but I figured he needed them with his work schedule. I was lucky enough that Emmett's insurance policy allowed me to stay home with Emmy, at least for the first few years. He asked questions about Emmett, which I answered with a lump in my throat. It suddenly felt very, very strange to be on a date with someone who wasn't Emmett.

As the date went on, I noticed that I no longer felt the tingle in my pants from Edward's voice. When he began bragging about his cars and his designer _clothes, _of all things, I got very, very bored. What man talks about his clothes? He spoke at great length about all his best attributes: I knew to which charities he donated money, how often he volunteered his time at the free clinic in town, and how many stray animals he'd rescued in the past five years. This date was beginning to feel like an interview. Maybe I wasn't being fair, though. My mind compared Edward's rambling, stale stories to Emmett's hilarious anecdotes and Jasper's fascinating and intriguing story telling style.

I excused myself after one particularly long tale about his college roommate's mother and went to the restroom to regroup. I looked in the mirror and gave myself a silent pep talk. I made promises to myself involving ice cream, washed my hands, and headed back to the table. Edward was talking to our waitress, giving her a sexy smirk, while she slid a piece of paper over the table towards him. He looked down at it and slid it into his pocket, winking at her. As she walked away, I saw his eyes shift to her behind, and she called over her shoulder, "I hope you'll use that number," as she sashayed towards the kitchen. My reaction was radically different than I expected. I laughed, immediately and loudly. Edward's eyes snapped to mine and widened comically. This date was definitely over.

"I'd like to go, please, Edward," I giggled, "I'm really pretty tired of this and I'm ready to get home."

Edward looked pissed as he slammed down his glass and stood, walking to the door without waiting to see if I was following. The ride home was awkward and silent. I thought of Jasper the whole way home and wondered if it was too late to call him. He'd laugh about this with me. He always knew just what to say to make me feel better and improve my mood. Edward pulled into my driveway and stopped the car. I waited for him to speak, but he just gave me a pointed look which I took as my cue to get out of his car. I had barely shut the door when he backed out of my driveway, not lingering to see if I made it inside.

"Alright," I muttered, annoyed with him, but happy as hell to be home.

I had just put my purse on the table when a loud knock at my door startled me. I jumped a bit, my hand clutching my heart. I opened the door to find Jasper leaning precariously against the door frame, three sheets to the wind. "Hey, Bella," he slurred. I was filled with relief and excitement to see him, glad to see a friendly face. His voice was hard when he continued speaking. "Can I come in?" he asked. He pushed his way past me without waiting for a reply and I noticed that he smelled like the Jack Daniels distillery. My happiness at his arrival was turning to apprehension.

"What's going on, Jasper?" I asked warily. It was late, he was drunk, and he was behaving strangely. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to like whatever he had to say to me.

"How was your date?" he asked with a voice filled with sarcasm.

"It was okay," I answered, trying to keep my voice even and not let him pull me into an argument.

Jasper snorted rudely. He stood inches from me and curved his body menacingly towards mine. "Well, good for you. I can't believe you're fucking dating, again. I thought you weren't ready?" he said, the venom in his voice slicing through me. "I thought you loved Emmett," he added, harshly.

"I-" I couldn't even finish my thought. I felt like I had been dunked in ice. My whole body trembled from Jasper's cold words and insinuation. I heard my heartbeat in my ears and I felt the guilt settling into every crevice of my body. I felt my face crumple and a fat, hot tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek onto my lip. I pushed Jasper away from me as hard as I could and he stumbled backwards a few feet. He looked stunned, and then horrified as he registered my pain-filled face. He opened his mouth to speak, but I shoved him out the door as quickly as I could.

I slammed the door in his apologetic face and locked the door. I stood there, feeling lost and so lonely. I could hear him calling my name through the door, but I ignored him. I held my breath as long as I could, trying to control the tears I knew were waiting for my next breath. When it became necessary, I took a deep shuddering breath that gave way to heavy, painful sobs. I sat right down on the floor and cried until my throat was raw and my eyes were swollen.

I wanted Emmett. I wanted him to be right there with me. I wanted to ask him what the fuck I should do and I wanted him to hug me. I wanted to know that I wasn't alone, because at that moment I felt more lonely and hopeless than I had since the day Emmett died. I eventually made my way into my bedroom and curled up on the bed. I lay there, in my dress, on top of the covers and I prayed for the first time in a very long time for guidance.

I felt like shit Saturday morning. I walked into the bathroom and I was shocked by my reflection. I looked like I had been in a fight. My eyes were swollen almost completely shut and I had dark bruises underneath them. My nose and lips were red and swollen and my nose was so stopped up, I had to breathe through my mouth. Sexy. I brushed my teeth and rinsed my face with cold water. I took a nice long shower, letting the hot water relax my extremely tense muscles. I dressed in my rattiest pair of sweats and headed to the kitchen to have a gigantic glass of iced water. My cell phone chirped, alerting me to a message and I snatched it from the table with a huff. I had twelve texts and three voice mails all from Jasper. I threw my phone back down, not quite ready to deal with my douche bag best friend.

I called Esme to check on Emmy and we planned for her to come home after lunch. I needed to cuddle up with my baby for a while. Nothing could improve my mood like my little girl's open mouthed, slobbery kisses. They were magic.

I grabbed my keys and wallet and walked to the door, determined to go to the diner for pancakes and bacon. I opened the door and nearly tripped over a huddled up Jasper. He looked like hell. His eyes were rimmed in red and he obviously hadn't slept. He stood quickly as I stared at him. "Bella, please. We have to talk," he blurted quickly.

I sighed, resigned. He and I DID need to talk, but I had hoped to have a little time to prepare, first. "Come in," I said, proud that my voice was steady and strong. I moved aside and let Jasper through the door.

"I'm so sorry," he said, looking at his feet. I waited, expecting more, but nothing ever came.

"That's it? Really?" I asked, astonished. "You came into my home last night and said some really shitty things and you think 'I'm sorry' is all you have to say to earn my forgiveness? You were really harsh last night, Jasper. You said those things without batting an eye and I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you just yet."

"I understand. I just.. I wanted.. I-" he struggled to find his words. He looked into my eyes and I watched as his expression changed from torn to determined. "Bella, I should never have even come over here last night. I watched you leave with that... guy, and I felt so...," his voice got quieter with each word until he just trailed off. "I had no idea you were ready to start dating yet, and I suppose I just hoped that when you were.. I don't know. Listen, just know that I didn't mean anything I said last night. I was drunk, although I know that's no excuse. Of course, I know you loved Emmett. You should absolutely be happy. I honestly don't know what got into me, but I don't want you to ever think that I believe any of that about you. You're wonderful, Bella. You're caring and funny and you're just a good person. I know you're angry, and I hope you can forgive me, because I can't begin to imagine my life without you in it," he finished his rant and looked into my eyes for a moment.

His shoulders fell and he turned to walk towards the door. I grabbed his shoulder and as he turned to face me, I wrapped my arms around his neck. "You really hurt my feelings," I sobbed. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and he lead us into the living room. He sat us on the sofa, still wrapped in a hug and rubbed my back gently.

"I know," he whispered. "You don't know how badly I feel about it. Please forgive me, Bella. Please," he begged, his voice filled with sadness.

"I do forgive you, Jazz. Just know I'm going to be a little sensitive for a while," I sniffled. "And, if you ever say anything like that to me again, I swear I'm telling Rosalie."

Jasper huffed a laugh into my neck and squeezed me tighter. "I really can't believe what an ass I was. Jack Daniels has never been a very good friend to me," he said with a wry grin.

"Yeah, well, maybe you should pour that shit down the drain," I said, climbing off his lap. "I was headingout to the diner for breakfast. Want to come with me?" I offered.

"Do I have time for a quick shower?" he asked, looking down at himself. I nodded and waited in his living room for him to get ready. Forty-five minutes later, we were sitting in the diner, sipping coffee and waiting for our breakfast. I studied Jasper as he looked around the diner absentmindedly.

He really was attractive. His blond curls were a little long and unkempt. They fell into his eyes and bounced when he laughed. His hair was lighter than Rose's, and always very shiny. His eyes were dark, dark blue; they could almost be mistaken for black from a distance. He was taller than Emmett, maybe 6'3 or 6'4, and thinner. He had a runner's build. Thin, but extremely well defined. He had a grace that was unintentional and beautiful. Even the way he moved his hands when he spoke was graceful; there was always a complete movement, never jerky. He wasn't feminine by any means, but he moved in a way that drew your eye and it was mesmerizing. I realized I was blatantly staring at him, so I lowered my eyes to the table and cleared my throat a bit, embarrassed.

"So, tell me about your date," Jasper said tentatively.

I laughed out loud, earning a raised eyebrow from across the table. When I calmed down my giggles a bit, I launched into the story of the worst date in history. By the end of my story, Jasper was laughing with me, and tears were streaming down my cheeks. "Oh, my God, what a douche!" he sputtered.

"I know!" I giggled. "I think maybe dating is a bad idea for me. I can't imagine going through that hell again."

Jasper looked thoughtful for a minute and was just opening his mouth to speak when the waitress walked to our table with our food. We ate in a comfortable silence, and when the check arrived, Jasper snatched it up. Before I could protest, he met my eyes. "Please?" he said, simply. I nodded and he took care of our bill. When we got home, we sat on my front porch for a bit and chatted, enjoying each other's company. I invited him to go to the park with me and Emmy later in the afternoon and he accepted. He stood to go home, claiming that he made a huge mess the night before. He waited until I unlocked my door and gave me a hug.

"I love you, you know," he whispered.

"I know. I love you, too," I answered, trying my best to ignore the shock to my system at his words. I knew what he meant, that he loved me as a friend, and I tried to control my reaction. "I'll see you later this afternoon?"

"You bet," he replied, giving me a smile and walking the few steps to his door. "Just come over when you guys are ready," he said, as he walked inside.

I walked into my house and leaned against the door. My face was flushed and my heart was pounding. I realized all the way to my bones that I wanted Jasper to love me.


	6. Chapter 6

When Esme showed up with Emmy that afternoon, her eyes were bright with curiosity. She walked in, handed me the girl, and immediately began her questioning, "So?" she hesitated, obviously expecting me to launch right into the details of my date. When I said nothing, she continued. "Come on, Bella! How'd it go last night?"

I chuckled and set Emmy up with her Leapfrog Musical Table before addressing Esme. "Well, Esme, looks like you can put a halt on the wedding plans."

Her face dropped, "What happened? Rosalie seemed so sure you two would be a good match!"

"Well," I giggled, "It's probably a good thing Rose isn't straight. She's not a great judge of men. It was pretty terrible, actually. He was pompous, he told boring-ass stories, he bragged about EVERYTHING, he checked out our waitress, and I just didn't enjoy his company. It was just not good."

She and I giggled over the next hour about my ridiculous date and when she left she gave me a huge hug. "I love you. Come to dinner later in the week, please." I nodded and walked her out.

Emmy and I snuggled up on the couch with her animal picture book and she tried to copy my words as I named the different animals on the pages. "Bird" became "ird," "turtle" was "dudda," and it was wonderful and amazing to me how quickly she was learning. At 3:00, we decided to go pick up Jasper and head out to the park. Jasper reached out for Emmy as soon as he opened the door and she gave him a toothy grin and laid her head on his shoulder. "Hello, Emmylou," Jasper crooned. She rubbed his cheek and giggled at the scratchiness on her palm.

We decided to walk to the park, as it was a beautiful afternoon. We let Emmy "walk" between us, holding our hands, for a while, so it took us an extremely long time to walk the two blocks to the park. When we got there, we played on the swings and then Jasper took her to the monkey bars while I sat on a bench and watched them. They were very sweet together. Jasper held Em by her hips and let her hang from the bars and she squealed and giggled loudly. I was struck by how much they obviously loved each other and it made my heart constrict painfully with longing. I let my mind wander for just a moment and imagined outings just like this one, with us as a family, maybe with another baby or two with blonde curls.

I shook my head quickly to rid myself of the image and focused on the present. Jasper was watching me with an amused expression and they walked slowly to the bench to sit with me. "What in the world were you thinking about?" he asked softly, "You had the most beautiful expression just now," he reached his hand towards my face and moved a stray hair behind my ear.

I blushed and shook my head. "Nothing, really. I was just watching you two playing together. You guys love each other so much."

"Of course we do!" Jasper exclaimed, "How could I not love this sweet girl?" he asked, snuggling her to him.

I smiled and offered my hand to Jasper, standing up. "You guys wanna walk to the pond?" I asked, pointing down the walking path. "I brought bread so we can feed the ducks and fish."

"Sure," Jasper nodded, and he began walking, keeping my hand in his. I tried to focus on what Jasper was saying, and I tried to focus on Emmy as she giggled and pointed all the way to the pond, but truly all I could focus on was the feeling of Jasper's rough, calloused hand in mine and the tingles said hand produced throughout my entire body. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. Holding Emmett's hand had always been pleasant and had created warmth throughout my body, but this was different. This was amazing and scary and electric! It was pulsing and stinging and magic and I didn't want to ever, ever let go.

When we got to the pond and onto the bridge, we stopped and put Emmy down between us, so she could throw bread into the pond. I forced myself to let go of Jasper's hand to retrieve the bread from my bag. I looked up at him and noticed he was looking at me with wide eyes. "Well that was different," he grinned.

"Yeah, it was definitely…" I trailed off as I noticed that we were leaning into each other. _Please, please, __please kiss me_, I begged silently, as his head tilted further towards mine. Our lips were only inches away when Emmy's squeal brought us out of our bubble. I looked down at her, worried, and when I looked back at Jasper, the spell was broken. He squatted down next to Em and helped her tear the bread apart. We fed the ducks and fish for a while, and when we finished, we decided to head home and eat. I invited Jasper for supper and he accepted. On the walk home, he casually threw his arm around me and I leaned into him, loving his warmth and the buzzing sensation his arm and side gave me. Emmy fell asleep on Jasper's shoulder and I imagined that to passersby we looked like we all belonged to each other.

"Bella," Jasper began, looking nervous, "I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me this weekend?"

"Yes, please," I breathed, stunned and excited. He grinned and wrapped his arm around me a little tighter. We got home and Jasper put Emmy in bed for me while I went into the kitchen to gather ingredients for lemon rosemary chicken, garlic mashed potatoes and steamed asparagus. I was throwing the chicken in the oven when I felt Jasper behind me. I had goose-bumps and the hair on the back of my neck was raised.

I turned to face him and he moved towards me slowly. I took a step back and felt the counter behind me as he stepped into me. He gave me a crooked grin as he tilted his head towards mine, closer and closer, till his breath fanned out across my face, intoxicating me. "Please," he breathed and his eyes focused on my mouth, causing my lips to part slightly in response. He leaned into me and finally, finally our mouths connected. The feeling was completely new to me. I felt the electricity the instant our lips made contact. I wanted to devour him. My heart was pounding and it was all I could hear. His lips were perfect as they wrapped up in mine. My lips cradled his top lip as he gently sucked my bottom lip. My body felt out of control as he parted his lips slightly and tilted his head to get a better angle for the kiss. I had never been more aroused in my entire life. Just as I felt his tongue glide across my bottom lip, the phone rang, making us jump apart, startled. We grinned at each other, and I reached for my cell phone.

"Hello?" I asked, feeling Jasper's eyes on me.

"Bella, Tanya's in labor and we're heading for the hospital. Can you come?" Rose rushed in reply.

"Of course I can, Rose. Let me take care of a few things here, and I'll meet you there," I said, feeling very excited for my friend. "Jasper's here, too, so do you want to speak to him or should I let him know?"

"Could you just tell him? We're getting in the car now." She said, hurrying through her words, her voice high pitched and frantic.

"Of course," I answered, "Be safe." I hung up the phone and turned to Jasper with a grin. "Tanya's in labor. Would you mind making some sandwiches while I clean up in here?" I asked him.

He made sandwiches while I took the chicken from the oven and dumped in into the trash, much too happy and excited for Rose and Tanya to mind the waste. We ate very quickly, not even bothering to sit, and washed our sandwiches down with a shared glass of water. I grabbed Emmy while Jasper got the diaper bag ready and we headed to the car. Jasper slid into the driver's seat of my car and reached for my hand as I climbed in the passenger seat. I was relieved that things still seemed normal between us as we chatted excitedly all the way to the hospital.

We got to the waiting room and were met with Jasper and Rose's parents, John and Rebecca Hale, Esme and Carlisle, and Tanya's parents, the Denali's. Carlisle scooped Emmy away from me immediately and took her to sit with the "adults" while Jasper and I offered to run to the vending machine for snacks. We got munchies and drinks for everyone, and before we headed back to the waiting room, Jasper stopped me by dropping a quick kiss on my lips. Blushing and grinning, we headed back towards our friends and family.

Tanya had asked that it just be her and Rose in the delivery room, so we passed the time talking and laughing with everyone. At around midnight, Jasper was in the middle of a particularly amusing story about Rosalie and a boy named Royce whose nose she broke when he grabbed her boob in 6th grade, when a beaming Rose walked into the room holding a tiny bundle of perfect. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet my son, Jacob Hale Denali." We gathered around to fawn over his cute little self, and I gave her a huge hug and a promise to come back the next day. Emmy had passed out for the night a few hours before and I was pretty tired, myself. Jasper followed suit, and we gathered Emmy and her bags, hugging everyone on the way out.

"I'm an uncle!" Jasper beamed on the way to the car. "I can't believe they have a baby…" he trailed off, looking a little sad.

"Jazz, you okay?" I asked, concerned.

"Oh, of course!" he offered, smiling a genuine smile. "I guess I'm just a little tired."

I wasn't completely convinced, but I let it go. I loaded Em into her car seat and when I stood up, Jasper was close behind me. He pressed me against the car and very, very gently kissed the skin below my left ear. "I've wanted to kiss that spot all night," he breathed against my skin. I whimpered lightly in response.

He stood and walked me to the passenger's side of the car, opening my door for me. "I'll drive," he offered. I nodded dumbly and slid into my seat. Jesus, he was making me stupid!

The car ride home was silent, but comfortable. He held my hand and his thumb rubbed absently along the back of my hand. When we pulled into the driveway, I heard Jasper curse under his breath sharply. I looked at him, confused, and saw that he was staring towards his house. There, on the stoop, sat Alice, and she'd obviously been crying. I looked back at Jasper and there was a look of such longing on his face that it broke my heart. "It's okay, Jazz. I'll talk to you tomorrow," I said as I hopped out of the car and grabbed Em. Jasper said something to me, but I ignored him and walked into my house without sparing a glance at Alice.

When I got inside, I noticed that my heart was pounding as I got Em into her jammies and into bed. I cleaned my house, despite the late hour, from top to bottom. I tried to convince myself that I was just keyed up from the excitement at the hospital but I knew I was waiting on him. I truly expected Jasper to knock on my door and tell me it was all a mistake. When I glanced out my window at 3:45 and Alice's car was still sitting on the curb, my heart fell into my toes. I felt defeated and tired and I knew I had lost him.


	7. Chapter 7

I moved from the window, feeling like a pathetic stalker. I was still wide awake, so I threw _Dirty Dancing _on and sat on the couch feeling sorry for myself. As I sat there watching Johnny and Baby dance their asses off, I had a little talk with myself. I realized there was no need for jealousy. For one thing, I had no idea what was going on next door. I imagined them writhing and sweating all over one another, but for all I knew, they could be playing video games talking about Alice's desire to try lesbianism. I obviously had no clue. The second thing was that I had no right whatsoever to be jealous. A kiss (or three) did not mean we were in an exclusive relationship. Jasper and Alice dated for over three years. They had a huge history and one perfect day spent with Jasper didn't change that. I sighed, determined not to jump to any more conclusions.

I felt a little better and had just turned off the TV, ready to head to bed for a couple hours of sleep before hurricane Emmy woke up. As I stood from the couch, I heard a soft knock on my door. My heart soared, hope filled every crevice of my body and I tried to stomp it down before answering the door. Jasper was standing on the other side, looking tired and maybe… relieved? My bipolar heart plummeted once again; convinced that he and Alice had rushed off to Vegas after working everything out. "Bella?" Jasper asked tentatively, "May I come in?" I realized that I was just standing at the door staring at him.

"Uh, sure," I mumbled, moving aside so he could enter. He smelled like Alice's sweet perfume and I hated him for a moment. "Did you guys get everything worked out?" I asked, trying to keep my voice light.

"Yep, it went really well," Jasper replied, looking very happy. He looked so elated, in fact, that I just couldn't be angry anymore. I wanted him to happy. I wanted it to be with me, but happiness, in general, would work.

I cleared my throat to hide the strain in my voice, "Well, I'm glad for you. I know you've loved her for a long time." I looked down, unable to meet his eyes.

"I have," he answered simply, not elaborating, thankfully.

"Um, I guess I should go to bed. Congratulations on getting your girl back, Jasper. Truly." I looked into his eyes and was shocked to find he looked very, very amused. I was pissed! Was he making fun of me?

He had to know I had feelings for him and he was _laughing _at me? I turned to walk away from him, not caring where I ended up. I just wanted to get away from his laughing eyes.

"Bella, stop, you crazy girl!" he cried, grabbing my arm. "You think I came over here to tell you I got back together with Alice?" He looked exasperated. "I told you she and I were over weeks ago and I meant it. Nothing she says will change that. Please let me explain, ok?"

I nodded in agreement, trying to understand him. Did he just tell me they were not together? I struggled to keep up; my brain and body were very tired from the late hour and the roller coaster my emotions had taken me on today. All these feelings were so new to me that I seemed to feel everything much stronger than I should. I watched as Jasper sat on the couch. I sat on the opposite side of the same couch and turned to face him.

He watched me from the corner of his eye, and I noticed him rubbing his hands on his jeans. Jasper was nervous! He swallowed several times and I offered him a drink. I brought him some water and watched as he drank it. I could see him trying to put his story into words for me. I saw it in his eyes as he tried to muster his courage. I also saw the determination in his eyes as he turned to me.

"Alice and I had been talking a lot about our future before we broke up. She and I had agreed that we both wanted at least two children, we wanted marriage, and we wanted a house with a huge yard. We wanted all of that together." He paused, looking at me and I nodded for him to continue. "About a month and a half ago, she came over. She looked like hell. She had been crying and she was really acting strangely. She told me that she had had an abortion the week before." I gasped, surprised. He looked up at me and continued quickly, "I know, I know. It's a woman's right. I get it, but I didn't have any choice at all. I didn't even know she was pregnant. She begged for my forgiveness and understanding, and I told her it was alright, that I did forgive her. I have to admit, thought, that it was killing me inside. I didn't really know what to think. We had been talking about kids, and I was really getting used to the idea. A few weeks later, she told me that she didn't think she would ever want kids. She said she was focused on her career and she had just said all that to make me happy."

I reached for Jasper's hand and slid along the couch to sit beside him. "I hate that she lied to me. We talked over the next few days and there were lots of things we didn't agree on; religion, politics, kids, nearly everything you could imagine. It just wasn't going to work out. She came over here tonight because she had a bad day. She feels really guilty about everything and wanted to make amends, I guess. She and I talked and we're good. We'll never have a romantic relationship again, but I think we can be friends."

I was silent through his story. I felt such anger for him towards Alice for lying to him and manipulating their relationship. I felt happy that they were able to work things out. And, most of all, I felt so relieved that they didn't get back together, even though it seemed awful for me to feel that way.

"I'm sorry I assumed the worst," I whispered, embarrassed.

"It's ok, Bella. I'm sorry I didn't tell you the whole story earlier. I should have assured you that there was nothing to worry about." He answered, leaning closer to me.

My hand stroked his forearm, marveling at the wiry muscles below the surface of his skin. I felt his finger beneath my chin and I looked up at him. He tucked a stray hair behind my ear and leaned into me. I felt his lips and tongue along my jaw, and my heart rate increased dramatically. I turned my face to his and caught his mouth with my own. We kissed for several minutes like that; soft and slowly. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and his hands gripped my hips tightly, guiding me into his lap. I threw my right leg over both of his, so I was straddling his lap and he pulled my hips into his so I could feel him. Boy, could I could feel him: Jasper was aroused!

I could feel every last glorious inch of him and the tingling that always accompanied a touch from Jasper intensified. I moved my hips slowly against him, making him moan quietly into my mouth. He licked my bottom lip softly, and I opened my mouth slightly, allowing him entrance into my mouth. Our tongues stroked against each other slowly and I wanted so much more. I pressed my chest against his and he pulled my hips even tighter to him. I felt his thumbs slide under my shirt and stroke the skin at my hips.

Impatiently, I moved my hands to the hem of his t-shirt and lifted it quickly. He helped me remove it completely and before we could settle back into our kiss, he had my shirt in his hands, throwing it to the floor beside his. He gasped as he took in my braless chest and his hands immediately moved to cup my breasts. He kissed a trail from my jaw to my collarbone and down the swell of my left breast. Just as his lips wrapped around my hardened nipple, we were interrupted by Emmy's loud cry. I moaned, dropping my head to Jasper's shoulder and he held me close to his chest for a moment. I chuckled, reaching for my shirt and Jasper did the same.

"Sorry about that," he said, his voice deep and gravelly. "I really didn't mean to get so carried away."

I kissed him quickly on the mouth. "I didn't mind," I whispered with a grin. His smile matched mine and I could feel his eyes on my body as I walked into Emmy's room. I changed her diaper and changed her into a romper before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Jasper was already there, whisking eggs in a bowl and he asked with a grin, "Omelets?" I agreed and made Em's oatmeal while Jasper whipped up the omelets. I fed Emmy while Jasper cooked, and we discussed the day. "I'm heading to see Rose and Tanya today, if you want to come," he offered, plating the omelets.

"Sure, I was planning on heading that way today, anyway." I agreed, wolfing down the delicious breakfast. We made plans to head to the hospital after lunch. He helped me clean the kitchen after breakfast and he played with Emmy while I showered and changed. When I was ready for my day, he stood and kissed me quickly, telling me he'd be over around 1:00. He gave Emmy some kisses and headed next door.

Em and I played with her Lego's for a while and read some books. I had never been more excited for her 10:00 nap in her entire life. She and I lay down together on my bed and we slept soundly for two hours. I woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed and after lunch and some playtime with the girl; Jasper was knocking on my door. I felt like such a teenager, skipping to the door towards the boy I had a crush on, and I enjoyed the feeling immensely.

I opened the door to reveal Jasper's smiling face. He was so beautiful. He kissed my cheek and walked into the living room and sat on the floor with Emmy. She crawled over to sit in his lap right away, and he hummed a tune into her hair.

"You guys ready to go?" I asked, loving the feeling I got watching Jasper play with Emmy. He nodded, picking up Em as he stood, and I grabbed her diaper bag and the bag of munchies I put together for Rose and Tanya. On the way to the hospital, Jasper and I sang silly songs to keep Emmy entertained. She giggled and clapped the whole way there, her dimples showing themselves constantly.

Esme and Carlisle were at the hospital when we got there, along with John and Rebecca. Esme stopped me, of course, demanding to take Emmy off my hands. I passed her over and Jasper and I headed into Tanya's room. One look at Tanya had me longing to punch her in the throat. She was gorgeous. Seriously, I looked crazy after I had Em. I was swollen everywhere, had black circles under my eyes and I wore pajamas for weeks. Tanya was sitting on the chair, wearing jeans, a wrap sweater and boots, for Christ sake, full makeup, of course, looking as refreshed as if she had had 8 hours of sleep. Bitch!

I tried desperately to stop glaring at her, focusing instead on the sweet little baby in her arms. He was something gorgeous: thick black waves, smooth creamy skin, and dimpled chin, just beautiful. Tanya and Rose had decided to use an anonymous donor, and they had poured over hundreds of donor applications before choosing theirs. By looks alone, they had done well. Of course, they had factored in ridiculously high IQ, varied hobbies and an impeccable health record.

I watched as she passed him to Jasper, his expression wavered for a moment between elation and sadness, but settled on a breathtaking smile. I hugged Rosalie and congratulated them both, handing her the bag of sandwiches, chips, and drinks before asking for their key. I explained to Rose that I wanted to clean a bit for them and make a casserole so they wouldn't have to cook when they went home tomorrow. She handed me the key with a kiss on the cheek, "You are the best girl in the world," she whispered into my hair. "Now, what the fuck's with the goo goo eyes you're giving my brother?"

I jerked away from her embrace, feeling my blush from the top of my head to my chest. "I don't know what you're talking about," I floundered, looking to Jasper with wide eyes. He was oblivious, cooing and rocking baby Jacob in his arms.

"It's ok, Bells," Rosalie assured me, "I've watched him look at you like that since 8th grade. I'm just glad to see it reciprocated for once."

I stared at her, dumbfounded. "Wait. What-" I began, and she cut me off by walking away quickly.

I tried to process her words, but I was interrupted by Jasper's voice, "Bella? Want to hold him?" he asked, passing me the sweet, sleeping baby.

I cradled Jacob to my chest and was overwhelmed with emotion. He really was breathtaking. I had always imagined four babies; close in age, with Emmett's curls and dimples and my brown eyes. I felt so blessed to have my Emmy, but I knew my dream couldn't come true. I held Jacob a few more minutes, smelling his sweet hair and passed him back to Jasper.

Rose looked at me, with her very clever eyes, and asked me to go on a coffee run. I smiled, relieved, and went to the cafeteria. I sat at the first table I came to, and focused on calming down. I took deep breaths, and thought about how happy I was that Emmy was in my life. I didn't know where I would be without her. She saved my life when all I wanted was to give up. I realized that I would never have the life I dreamed of with Emmett, but maybe I could still find happiness. Hope was not lost. I had to have faith of a happy future. I grabbed onto this thought and held it tight, determined not to fall back into the darkness.

**So, I know this is a repost and a lot of you have already read this story, but I still like reviews! Please? I'm not too proud to beg.**


	8. Chapter 8

I felt much better when I returned to Tanya's room. Rose searched my eyes and seemed satisfied by whatever she found there. I handed off the coffee and sat beside Jasper, reaching for his hand. He looked surprised, but he threaded our fingers together with a smile. Rose and Tanya both stared for a moment; eyes widening, slightly. Thankfully, neither of them said anything to us, but Rose gave me a very smug and pointed look and I felt myself blushing under her gaze.

I was saved by Carlisle, who walked in and passed Emmy to me, explaining that they were leaving. I promised to come to see them and let them have some playtime with Emmy in a few days, and then I looked to Jasper, asking if he was ready as well. As we were gathering our things, Rose pulled me into her arms and whispered into my ear, "You haven't gotten out of this. I expect a chat. Soon." I gulped and nodded. After hugs and promises to call, Jasper and I left, heading home.

Jasper offered to watch Emmy for me while I took care of all the things I wanted to do for Rose and Tanya. While I threw together a chicken casserole, he fed her lunch and then rocked her into her afternoon nap, talking quietly to her. I kept taking breaks from shredding chicken and chopping veggies to sneak into the doorway and watch him with Em. He was so gentle and kind to her. He looked at her lovingly and hummed softly as he rocked her and she twirled a lock of his hair around her fist. I loved the sight and snapped a quick picture without either of them noticing.

When the casserole was put together, I sneaked out of the house quietly as not to disturb the girl, and headed to Rose's house. I quickly cleaned their kitchen, emptying the dishwasher and reloading it with the few dishes in the sink. I dusted and vacuumed and mopped, figuring those things would be put on the back burner for a while. I went into Jacob's room and put wipes into the warmer, readied the changing station with diapers and cream, and loaded the diaper genie. I made sure to wash a load of onesies and receiving blankets, folded them, and placed them in the crib with a note. I brought in the mail and watered the houseplants. Feeling accomplished, I wrote out the simple heating instructions on a sticky note and stuck it to the top of the foil on the casserole dish.

I headed home, driving slowly and taking the long route, singing loudly along with the music on my iPod. I was feeling downright happy as I pulled into my driveway, and the sight I encountered when I walked into the door did nothing to alleviate my joy. Jasper was playing his guitar and singing a silly song about skeeters and bedbugs, and Emmy was dancing, holding onto the coffee table, grinning wildly. "Mama!"

she called as I walked into the room. I froze and gazed at her, wide-eyed and open mouthed. This was the first time she'd ever _really _said it! She babbled it all along, of course, but this was the first time she'd called me by name on purpose! I scooped her up, blowing a raspberry on her belly.

"I love you, Emmylou!" I giggled, tickling her little belly and neck. "I can't believe she called for me!" I grinned at Jasper, who was smiling widely.

"That's so cool," he said, still smiling. "I'm happy I was here to see that!"

"Me too," I whispered, not sure if I wanted him to hear me.

Jasper picked up his guitar again, making up silly lyrics that were heavy on the word "Mama." I grabbed up Emmy and we twirled around the room, laughing loudly. After the song, Jasper and I sat on the couch for a while watching Emmy play. I slid close beside him and he wrapped his arm around me, tucking me into his side. He kissed my temple and sighed, saying he needed to go home. He looked disappointed as he explained that he had some papers to grade that he had put off all weekend. He gave me a slow, deep kiss and a hug on the way out. "I know I'll talk to you this week, but I'll call you later about details for Saturday," he muttered against the top of my head, his breath was warm on my scalp and gave me goosebumps.

"Sounds good," I mumbled against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and the top of Emmy's and headed out the door.

When he was gone, I walked with Em to the living room, and noted the sparkle in her eyes- she was still feeling playful. I turned the stereo up loud and looked through my play list for something fast and fun to dance to. I chose The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band. I must admit I'm not a big bluegrass fan, but Emmy squealed every time she heard them and the Reverend gave her quite the dancing bug. I held Emmy's hands and we danced and jumped and grinned and had a wonderful old time through three songs.

Emmy looked up at me and held her hands over her head, hollering over the music, "Mama!" I turned off the stereo and held her to me, walking us to the bookshelf. I grabbed a picture album and walked to the couch, my hands full of baby and memories.

I snuggled Emmy into my side and opened the album. The first page was a picture of me, Emmett, and Rosalie right after 9th grade. "Dat?" she asked, pointing to the picture.

"It's your mommy and daddy and Auntie Rose when we were very young," I explained. I looked at the photo and smiled. It was taken during summer break and we had been swimming. Emmett was trying to throw me into the pool and I was leaning away from him as far as I could, reaching for Rosalie. We were all laughing; mouths open wide, eyes disappearing. I found myself in the deep end of the pool not five seconds after that picture was taken.

I tried to tell Emmy a story about her daddy at least once each week, so she'd know about what a wonderful man he was and how very much I loved him. I knew just the story I wanted to tell today.

I began speaking to Emmy, "Once upon a time, when princesses and princes roamed the streets of Washington and dragons were a very real danger, I fell in love your very handsome and very brave daddy." I looked down at the love of my entire world, and launched into this new story about Emmett.

"One day, in 9th grade, your mommy became very, very ill. She had the dreaded flu and it caused her to miss several days of school and also to miss out on seeing your daddy! He was very, very brave and very, very stupid and decided to sneak past Grammy and Grandpa and into my room. He climbed a tree outside of my room and then snuck in through my window. We lay in bed for hours, laughing and talking and kissing- by the way, don't kiss boys. It's yucky and you're much too young… Anyway, we both fell fast asleep, with Grammy and Grandpa downstairs, mind you, on a Tuesday night. Before he went to bed, Grandpa knocked on my door, planning to come in and check on me!" Emmy's eyes were wide and filled with understanding, so I giggled at her and continued. "Your crazy daddy climbed right out the window and onto the tree limb. That tree limb snapped and he fell right to the ground and broke his arm! Needless to say, we got caught and Grandpa cut down that tree and mommy was grounded for a month. The moral is obvious, here, kid. Don't sneak any handsome, brave, stupid boys into your room. Ever!"

I flipped through the album, telling Emmy all about the pictures. I loved watching her face as she looked at pictures of Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and I as teenagers. I put the album away and shifted her into my lap, snuggling her against my chest. I hummed quietly and when I looked down at her, Emmy's eyes were drooping. I got up and made her bottle and got her into her jammies. My mind wandered as I rocked her to sleep, holding her close to my heart. I thought of the story I told her tonight. That night was one of the best nights of my life, snuggling and laughing with the boy I loved. I was certain it was heaven. I sighed and looked down at the sleeping angel in my arms. She was all lavender and dimples and sweet baby breath and I decided to let her snuggle up in my bed for the night. After I got her settled on my bed, I made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sat in the living room to watch TV for a bit.

I sat with the television muted, daydreaming. I thought back to my life with Emmett and let myself dream about him for a while. I wondered what kind of father he would be. Certainly, he would have been amazing. He was always so much fun and children always loved him. I know he would have been in awe of little Emmy. She was such a beauty and a sweetheart. I loved that I had a piece of Emmett here with me even though he was gone.

After a bit, my daydreams shifted and I found myself thinking about Jasper and imagining his lips on mine, on my neck, on my chest… I thought about how carried away we had gotten earlier and I felt a heaviness and tingling down low in my belly. I fantasized for a moment about what could have happened if we hadn't been interrupted. I felt like a silly, horny girl with a crush. It was a nice feeling. It had been so long since I entertained thoughts like these. It almost made me feel guilty. I pushed those feelings aside and I tried to guess what we would do on our date, and I imagined something low-key so we could talk and laugh. I loved my conversations with Jasper. He always helped me feel at ease. There was always a comfort in his company. He was exceedingly charismatic, which worked well in the classroom, I imagined. I forced myself from my thoughts of Jasper and focused on getting ready for bed. I took a quick shower, washed my face, and brushed my teeth, slipping on my pajamas. I lay beside my baby, snuggling down for sleep. I slept soundly, dreaming of blond waves and silly songs.

**Okay, begging obviously has no effect on you people. How about threats?  
****Review, or else... **

**Please?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Totally forgot to update yesterday. Sorry!**

Monday was strange. I had the sort of day that makes you wish you could just go back to bed. When I woke up and tried to jump in the shower, I found that there was no water. No water meant no coffee, no formula, and no shower. No coffee, formula, or shower meant a shitty, shitty day. I called Jasper to see if he had water, and he didn't, so I called Esme to see if she would mind watching Emmy until I got the water situation straightened out. She agreed and I got Em out of bed and ready for her day at her grandparent's house. When Esme arrived, she gave me the number of a plumber and wished me luck.

I called the plumber and Victoria, the very snippy receptionist, told me she'd send someone out mid-afternoon. I decided to go to the grocery store to stock up for the week. I was wandering down the aisles when I heard a familiar voice, and my stomach clenched in dread. I peered around the aisle, praying for a mistake. Unfortunately, it was no mistake and Jessica Stanley had already spotted me. Emmett had worked with Jessica and she was a pain in the ass. She flirted shamelessly with him and was just a rude bitch to me. Then, when he passed away, she was extremely obnoxious and patronizing. "Oh, Bella!" she cried in her nasal voice. "How are you?" she asked, giving me a pitying look.

"I'm doing well, Jessica. How are you?" I asked, smiling tightly.

"I'm great!" she said, flashing her left hand in my face. "I'm engaged now… to Mike Newton. Remember Mike?" I nodded, looking around for an escape.

"So, Bella, I heard you had a baby. I'm so sorry. That must be so hard," she said, poking out her hot pink bottom lip.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, shocked.

"I mean, seriously, I was so surprised to hear you kept it. I think that it would be too hard for me to have a reminder of Emmett every day," she explained, casually.

My blood boiled and I saw red. I couldn't believe her nerve! I took a deep breath, trying to remain calm and polite as not to cause a scene. "Jessica," I began in a clipped but quiet tone, "my daughter is the best thing in my entire life. I very much hope that in the future you'll think about what you say before you open your fucking mouth. Have a good day." I walked away quickly, my heart pounding in my chest and my cheeks on fire. I was so angry! So angry, in fact, that I decided to leave my cart in the middle of the aisle and say fuck the groceries.

I got into my car and began the drive home. I was nearly home when I came upon some road work and had to drive on the shoulder to get by. As I turned onto my street, I heard it; the unmistakable _ka-thump, __ka-thump _that could only come from a flat tire. I drove the 20 feet to my driveway and jumped out of my car, slamming the door. My back left tire was indeed flat and I was indeed pissed. I pulled the spare out of the trunk and got to work. I was tightening the last nut when I heard someone pull into the driveway behind me.

I looked up to see the plumber's van. I watched as the driver's door opened, revealing a thin man with oily blond hair. He wasn't a bad looking guy; he just looked dirty. I smiled at him as he approached. "Boy, am I glad to see you!" I said, reaching out to shake his hand.

He leered at me, licking his bottom lip and giving me a slimy smile. "The pleasure's mine. I'm James."

I discreetly wiped my hand on my jeans and introduced myself, "I'm Bella. Please, come in." I led him into the house, feeling his gaze on my behind.

He lurked a moment too long in the doorway and I felt very uneasy. "Well, I'll just get to work," he said, staring at me with a strange smirk.

"Um, ok. I'll be out back if you need me," I answered, wanting to get away from this man. I grabbed a book and went outside onto my patio. I had been outside only a short time when I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I knew someone was watching me and I didn't want to turn around, knowing I'd meet James's gaze. I sat facing forward even as I heard him walk out onto the patio.

"This is going to take me a while. You have a pipe that burst under your house," he murmured, leaning close to my face.

"Oh. Um, I thought that only happened when it was cold," I said, confused.

"That's usually the cause, but it looks like this pipe was just old and worn," he explained. I didn't like the way he was looking at me, like I was something to eat. He truly made me want to run away from him. I had never felt so strangely about anyone.

"Alright, well, how long do you think it's going to take?" I asked, warily.

"It's a half-day job. I can either stay now or come back tomorrow. After 6:00, though, my fee is doubled," he answered, smirking. "Although, for you, I'm sure we can work something out."

"Um," I stammered, astonished, "Just come back tomorrow, please. I need to get to my daughter soon." I just wanted him to leave.

I stood up and walked into the house, towards the front door. I was reaching for the door handle to let him out when I felt him against me, grinding into my behind with his hips. I gasped, appalled, and he gripped my hair tightly and slammed me into the door. His right hand grasped my hip painfully and he began to thrust against me, making a growling noise in the back of his throat.

I was stunned for a moment and completely paralyzed. When he began moaning, however, I recovered myself and elbowed him as hard as I could in the stomach, thankful when he released my hair. I turned quickly to stomp on his foot and then punched him in the throat as hard as I could, as he was looking up and I couldn't get a shot at his nose. He fell to the ground, gasping for air and I ran out the door, nearly collapsing in relief when I saw that Jasper's car was in the driveway. I ran to his door, knocking quickly and walking in without waiting for him to answer.

"Bella?" he asked, astonished. I looked up to see Jasper wearing basketball shorts and no shirt… and glistening with sweat. Oh, dear. Apparently, he'd been working out.

"I… uh…" I stammered, momentarily dazed, "Oh! I need your help. Will you call the police please? I left my phone at home. The plumber attacked me so I hit him and now I really want him away from me!" I said in a rush.

"What?" Jasper demanded, looking angrier than I'd ever seen. He grabbed his phone and began dialing, walking out the front door with extremely long, quick strides. I didn't want to leave his living room, but when I heard a loud crash through the wall, I hurried back to my half of the house. I was stunned by what I saw. Jasper had James against the wall with his forearm across his chest, other hand pinning his arms above his head, holding him in place. "You're not going any-fucking-where," he growled in James's face, threateningly.

I stood stock-still in the doorway, overcome by the sight of Jasper's torso and arms straining against the effort of holding James in place. He was sexy and strong and I felt a heavy ache between my legs. Embarrassed, I cleared my throat and spoke, "Do you need me to do anything?" I squeaked.

"I've got it. The dispatcher said someone would be here in a minute," Jasper said, breathing heavily.

James struggled again and Jasper hit him in the face, knocking him out cold. "Well that makes things easier for me," he muttered, stretching his neck and relaxing a bit. "Tell me what the fuck happened, Bella." I relayed my story, from beginning to end, explaining how I felt uncomfortable from the beginning and ending with how I fought him off me. Jasper looked surprised as I explained how Charlie taught me self defense. He gave me a huge grin and I heard him mutter something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, "bad ass and beautiful," but I couldn't be certain. I blushed anyway.

I grabbed my phone and walked to the front porch to call Esme to let her know what was going on. She offered to keep Emmy overnight and I reluctantly agreed, knowing we still didn't have water and I'd probably be too keyed up to be an attentive mommy. As I hung up the phone, I heard the sirens and breathed a sigh of relief. "There here," I said to Jasper, who was still standing over James.

I gave my statement to the officers and told them that I did indeed want to press charges. They told me I'd have to drop by the station the following day to sign the paperwork and I agreed. After the cops finally loaded James into the cruiser and left, Jasper hovered over me, asking if I was ok. I assured him that I was, insisting that I actually felt pretty good. James hadn't accomplished anything with his attack and I was able to fight him off myself. I didn't even really feel upset- just a little disgusted.

After lots of kisses and reassurances, Jasper relaxed a bit. He called the plumbing company and let them know to pick up the van, explaining to the person on the phone what happened. He crawled under the house to check out the damage to the pipe that had burst and emerged with a grin. "I can patch it until we can get another plumber here to do a permanent fix," he explained. He headed off to the hardware store for whatever it is that one uses to patch a pipe, and I looked through my refrigerator to see what I could make without water. I decided to throw together a pizza, and assembled the ingredients. I had found a package of refrigerated dough, and rolled it out, cooked the sausage and bacon, and opened a jar of marinara when Jasper returned, triumphant. He disappeared again to fix the pipe while I layered the pizza with sauce, meat, and veggies, topping it with the cheese and tossing it in the oven.

As I set the timer, Jasper walked into the kitchen and turned the knob on the kitchen sink. I grinned widely at him as water flowed from the faucet. "Oh, my God, J! Thank you so much!" I squealed, hugging him. "I'm going to go take a shower! I have a pizza in the oven, so be back in about half an hour and you can eat with me," I said, hurrying toward the bathroom.

Twelve minutes later, I was squeaky clean and feeling much better about life in general. My hip was bruising already and extremely tender, so I threw on a pair of soft cotton shorts and a tank top and headed into the kitchen tossing my damp hair up in a messy bun. I checked the pizza, which looked mouthwatering-ly delicious and sat on my sofa trying to relax after my completely insane day. I was just beginning to breathe normally when I heard someone tapping on the door. I opened it to find Jasper. He looked amazing. He was wearing a pair of extremely worn jeans that looked so soft my hands itched to rub them, and a gray t-shirt. He was barefoot, again.

He leaned down and gave me a chaste kiss, placing his hands on my hips as he began to deepen the kiss. I winced at the contact and pulled back quickly. His brow furrowed and he glanced down towards my hip. He reached for me slowly, and lifted the side of my shirt, revealing a black hand-shaped bruise. "That motherfucker!" he exclaimed, clenching his jaw. I placed my hand on his chest over his heart, noticing how fast his heart was beating.

"Please, calm down. I'm fine and he's in jail tonight," I said, trying to soothe him. He took a deep breath and leaned his forehead against mine. We stood there for a moment, relaxing into each other, until the timer on the oven beeped. I removed the pizza and we chose a movie while it cooled.

We ate in the living room, watching The Goonies. When we finished our pizza, I slid closer to Jasper, laying my head against his shoulder. He rubbed my side slowly and I broke out in goose-flesh and shivered at his touch. I felt his breathing accelerate and he slid his fingers under the hem of my shirt. I rested my hand against his stomach and slid my thumb over his abs experimentally. His stomach quivered beneath my touch and I felt very brave. I sat up on my knees, facing him and leaned forward to place open-mouthed kisses all along his neck and behind his ear. I took his earlobe into my mouth, letting my teeth scrape it softly and he turned his face to me, capturing my lips with his. In one quick, fluid movement, I was on my back and Jasper was nestled between my legs. He held himself up with one arm while he stroked my side under my shirt with the other. He kissed me tenderly, slipping his tongue into my mouth, rubbing it slowly and smoothly against mine. When we needed to breathe he backed away, looking into my eyes. "Oh, my God, I want you so much, Bella," he murmured, his breath fanning across my face.

"Please, Jasper," I whimpered. I lifted my hips against his and pulled his firm behind towards me to get him as close as possible. He felt so good against me and I moaned quietly.

"Are you sure?" he asked, moving his hips against me and dropping his head to kiss me again.

"Let's go into the bedroom," I whispered against his lips.


	10. Chapter 10

My hands were trembling as I lead Jasper into my bedroom. I hadn't been with anyone in so long; I wasn't sure how to even make it happen. As I approached the bed, Jasper stopped and pulled my hand gently to get me to turn and face him. He tugged me closer and lowered his face to mine. "We don't have to do this today, you know," he whispered against my lips.

"I want to," I replied and wrapped my lips around his. Our lips sucked and massaged and smacked, and the kiss evolved quickly into wet tongues and breathy moans. I lifted Jasper's shirt up as far as I could and he lifted his arms to remove it the rest of the way. He helped me remove my tank top, dropping to his knees and attacking my collarbone and chest immediately. My hands made their way to the nape of his neck as his lips wrapped around my nipple and his tongue made slow, lazy circles around the hardened peak. I moaned as he sucked gently and flicked his tongue quickly. It sent sparks directly to my clit and had me shivering in his arms. At the sound of my moan, he looked up at me through his lashes and felt myself sway. Oh, God, he was sexy.

He gripped my hips tighter and kissed his way slowly down my belly. He bit, sucked, and licked his way to the waistband of my pants and my knees felt very weak. He noticed that I wasn't steady on my feet and stood to walk me backwards to the bed. My knees bent as the backs of my legs hit the bed and he followed me down onto the mattress, kissing me deeply. I felt so breathless and out of control and sexy. I loved it. I could feel his hands everywhere and I still wanted more.

I felt his hands at my waistband, his fingers bent beneath the elastic. His smooth fingernails were rubbing right above my pubic bone and he shifted his hands a bit and began to pull my shorts and panties down. I raised my ass from the bed to allow him to lower them off me. I helped kick them off my feet and I lifted my eyes to meet his gaze. I could feel my body flushing from arousal and I was surprised that I didn't feel embarrassed. The way he looked at me as his eyes traveled up and down my body, though, made me feel very secure and beautiful.

Jasper knelt in front of me and rubbed my legs slowly and firmly, wrapping his hands around my hips and twisting his wrists to massage my inner thighs with his thumbs. He slowly separated my legs and I held my breath as I watched his face move between my thighs. I moaned when I felt his hot breath on my wet, aching pussy. When I felt his mouth on me, I nearly screamed. He separated my lips and dropped a kiss on my swollen clit, causing my stomach to clench violently. He pressed his hand against my belly, rubbing it soothingly and holding me in place. I felt his tongue as it made slow, lazy circles around my clit, so maddeningly close but not where I needed him. I lifted my head to watch him and nearly came from the sight alone. It was such a fucking turn-on to see him with his face buried in my pussy.

I shifted my hips, trying to place his tongue right where I wanted it. He chuckled a bit and my head fell back against the bed at the sensation. Finally, finally he wrapped his lips around my clit and sucked, gently at first, massaging me with his tongue. I buried my hands in his hair, hoping to keep him in place.

It felt so good, a sweet relief as he pulled my bundle of nerves further into his mouth… I could feel the heavy throbbing flowing from my lower abdomen, into my pussy and down into my thighs. My legs began to shake around his head and he sucked harder as I exploded. I saw stars and screamed out to God as Jasper continued his work down below.

He crawled back up my body as I tried to regulate my breathing. My heart was beating so quickly, I had a brief flash of worry, hoping I didn't have a heart attack and die before we got to finish. He lay beside me, pulling me into his chest and kissing me deeply. I whimpered and sighed as I tasted myself on his lips and I didn't remember being this turned on by it ever before. I was suddenly desperate for more. I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants without breaking our kiss and in a pretty fancy move, I lowered his pants and boxers with my feet until they were low enough for him to kick off. Oh, my, all I could feel was skin and I loved how silky his skin was against mine. I noticed the slight tickle of his hair against my thighs and stomach. His erection was pressed into my hip and it felt mighty impressive.

I moved to my knees and straddled Jasper, wanting more than anything to explore his body. I kissed along his abs, dragging my lips between the grooves of his muscles. He was so beautiful; smooth hard muscle under soft, unblemished skin. I took a deep breath when I reached the head of his cock. He had a pretty penis. It was nicely shaped; long and thick and straight. My mouth began to water and I lowered myself to taste him. I licked slowly from base to tip and wrapped my lips around the tip, sucking quickly and releasing to drop a kiss on his head. He was salty and spicy and perfectly masculine and I discovered I couldn't get enough of him. I brought him into my mouth, moving my tongue back and forth along the underside of his shaft. He moaned and sighed and wrapped my hair around his fist. I expected him to move my head or to fuck my mouth, but he didn't; he let me set the pace and he just held on for the ride. I felt his body tense up and I picked up the pace a bit, surprised when he gripped my armpits and lifted me up. My lips leaving his cock made a loud popping sound and I chuckled as he drew me up his body.

He rolled me onto my back and settled between my legs, smiling as he bent to kiss me. He shifted and leaned off the bed to grab his pants and I was happy to see the little shiny square in his hand. I took it from him, opening it quickly and rolling it onto him in a smooth, quick move I was happy to find I remembered. He positioned himself over me again and looked into my eyes. His face was very serious as he spoke, "I'd be completely satisfied to stop here. Are you sure you want to do this tonight?"

"Very," I answered, pulling him into me. I gasped as he filled me, stretching me. He moaned quietly and dropped his forehead to the pillow beside me.

"Oh, my God, Bella," Jasper cried, his voice deep and breathy, "You feel so fucking good." He moved slowly inside of me and I lifted my legs to wrap around his waist. He wrapped his arm under my left leg, lifting it even higher and I moved my hands to his firm ass, pulling him into me. We moved together, sighing, moaning, and kissing between thrusts. The sensation was unreal and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. He rolled us so I was on top and I rode him, leaning back and placing my palms on his thighs, causing him to hit the spot inside me that made my eyes roll back into my head. I could feel myself getting close and Jasper growled and tensed, moving his fingers to my clit, rubbing furiously. I exploded first, and was only vaguely aware of Jasper's climax.

I collapsed onto Jasper's chest, exhausted and satisfied beyond belief. I snuggled against him, listening to his ragged breathing and rapid heartbeat. I drew patterns on his chest and he rubbed up and down my spine with his fingertips. Too soon, he shifted us onto our sides and he walked into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. When he came back, he pulled the sheet up around us and snuggled in next to me, kissing me softly before resting his head on his arm. We lay there forever, our hands constantly exploring, smiling at each other, sleepily.

I awoke with a start a few hours later, happy to find Jasper still wrapped around me, asleep. I watched him for a moment, just studying him and appreciating his beauty. I felt restless, so I decided to grab a beer and sit on the patio for a while. I used the bathroom and dressed quietly, got a beer from the refrigerator, and walked outside. The air was crisp and fresh and it soothed my overheated skin. I sat outside for quite a while, just enjoying the quiet. I thought back to my evening and I felt happy. I had worried that I would compare Jasper to Emmett or feel guilty somehow, but that just didn't happen. I felt relief and I felt more content than I had in a long time.

I heard my back door open and I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Are you ok?" Jasper asked, his voice tight with concern.

I turned to him and smiled. "I'm pretty fantastic," I gushed, blushing. "I just couldn't sleep."

I watched his face relax, relief flooding his eyes. "I wasn't sure what to think when I woke up alone. I was afraid it was going to be awkward." He smiled as he sat down beside me. I grabbed his hand and rested my head on his shoulder. He released my hand and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in close to his side.

"Don't worry. I'm feeling good about us," I said bashfully. "Tonight was amazing."

"It was," he answered quietly, his lips against my temple. "Is it ok if I stay with you tonight?"

"Of course," I answered and pressed a kiss to his jaw.

We headed back inside and into my bedroom. Silently, our clothes fell to the floor and Jasper set his phone alarm to wake him for work. Our bodies molded tightly together beneath the sheets. I rested my head on his chest and I was lulled to sleep by the sound of Jasper's heartbeat and by the feeling of hope that had settled in my own chest.


	11. Chapter 11

When I woke up the next morning, I was wrapped up tightly in a pair of warm, strong arms. I tried to unwrap myself from the death grip Jasper held me in, but each time I tried to move he tightened his arms.

I was stuck and I needed to pee. I _really _needed to pee. I nudged him with my elbow, and he shifted and moaned. I didn't wait to see if he woke up; I jumped up and ran into the bathroom to do my business. When I came back into the bedroom, I was overwhelmed by the sight before me. Jasper naked at night was a thing of beauty: Jasper naked in the light of the morning was spectacular. His skin had a healthy golden glow and his hair shone in the rays of the sun and he looked like an angel asleep on my bed.

I crawled back under the sheets and glanced at my clock. It was already six o'clock and I knew his alarm would be going off in a few minutes. I couldn't resist tracing the lines of his face with my finger tip, marveling at his soft skin and perfect bone structure. I ran my fingers along his jaw, smiling as the stubble scratched and tickled me. I leaned in and pressed a wet kiss on his beautiful jaw, right beneath his ear. He turned towards me, still sleeping, and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I kissed his lovely face again and again, from his temple to his jaw. I felt his lips turn up into a smile so I dropped a chaste kiss on his mouth, aware of my morning breath.

"Good morning," he murmured, his voice gravelly and quiet. His eyes were still closed and I noticed his eyelashes were so long, they fell along his cheekbones. What a waste for such beautiful, thick, long lashes to be placed on a man! I giggled as he opened one eye, and wrinkled his forehead.

"Morning," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Are you hungry?" I asked, pressing my body closer to his. I felt his arousal against my hip and I desperately wanted to stay in bed with him all day. I ground my sex into his thigh, smiling when I felt his breath hitch.

"Not really," he answered, pressing his hips harder against me, "but I need to go shower and get ready for work." I laughed out loud at his pained expression. He looked so disappointed.

"Do you want to come over tonight?" I asked, pressing a kiss against his jaw.

"Absolutely," he replied, groaning as he rolled away from me and climbed out of the bed. "God, I wish I didn't have to work today."

I climbed out of bed and slipped on my shorts and tank top. I walked over to Jasper and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Thank you," I mumbled into his chest.

"For what?" he asked, confused. He held me at arm's length so he could look into my eyes.

"Just… for last night," I smiled at him. "I haven't felt this happy in a really long time," I admitted.

At that, Jasper pulled me back into his warm embrace and his lips met mine in a kiss so filled with emotion, I thought I might cry. He gathered his things and headed out my door much sooner than I would have liked.

I was very busy all morning. I had to go to the police station and fill out a shitload of paperwork. Afterwards, I did the grocery shopping I abandoned the day before. Thankfully, I made it through my shopping trip with no confrontations. I had just finished putting away my groceries when Esme brought Emmy home. She was full of questions about James and I answered every single one, grateful she didn't ask many questions about Jasper's role in my night. I just wasn't ready to talk about it yet, plus I didn't want to divulge anything without speaking to him first. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable or embarrassed in any way. She was meeting Carlisle for lunch, so she excused herself pretty quickly, promising to call me soon.

Emmy and I had a quick lunch and then I got her settled down for her afternoon nap. While she was sleeping, I called Rose and made plans to visit her the next day. Tanya and Jacob were both doing well, but I could definitely tell they were exhausted. I remembered the days of having a newborn and how excited and happy I was when Emmy started sleeping through the night.

When we got off the phone, I pulled out a notebook and began making lists to plan for Emmy's birthday. It was in two weeks, and though I didn't want anything extravagant, I did want her to have a sweet little party. I hadn't even really begun planning, so I got online and searched for ideas for a while. When Emmy woke up, I had a pretty good plan in place.

I had a steak marinating and herb roasted potatoes in the oven when Jasper knocked on my door that evening. I let him in with a kiss and passed him the tray of meat, sending him onto the patio. I brought him a beer and some tongs and let Emmy play on the swing Jasper had attached to a tree in the yard.

Jasper settled into the grilling and he and I had an easy conversation about our days while I pushed Em. When I told him I was spending time with Rose the next day, he nearly choked on his beer. I met his gaze and he was smirking like crazy. "What?" I asked, wondering what he found so amusing.

"Well, you know she's going to harass you tomorrow," was his reply. I frowned. I had forgotten about that.

"What do you think I should say?" I asked him, not wanting to tell his sister something that would make him feel uncomfortable. He looked at me and shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Why don't we talk about it tonight after Em's in bed?" he asked. I nodded, feeling a little nervous, suddenly. I grabbed Emmy and sat her in her high chair with some cheerios as I put together a salad. I was just taking the potatoes out of the oven when Jasper walked back in with the steaks.

"Perfect timing," I smiled, raising my heels to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Will you grab the plates and drinks?" I quickly mashed an avocado and stirred it into Emmy's macaroni and cheese and she squealed as I set her plate on the tray in front of her. Jasper plated our food and got us glasses of water and we sat down to eat. I couldn't help but notice that it felt awfully "family dinner" of us as we dug in to our food.

We each took turns helping Emmy when she needed it and it just seemed very natural for us to work together this way.

When we finished our meal, Jasper offered to clean the kitchen so I could bathe Emmy. Bath time was a favorite at our house. I made crazy shapes in her hair and held up the mirror for her to see as she clapped and laughed in delight. She wrote on the tile with her crayon soaps, and she basically had a fun time splashing and swimming in my big tub. When she was squeaky clean, I massaged her with some Angel Baby lotion and she was back to smelling like a dreamboat. I got her diapered and jammied and we headed into the living room. "Hey, Jazz, would you mind hanging out with her for a few minutes while I take a shower?" I asked, hoping for a chance to get shaved and cleaned.

"Of course not," he replied, smirking. I'm pretty sure our minds were in the same place; the gutter. I didn't waste any time with the razor and shaved everything that could be shaved. I was a little embarrassed about my stubble from last night and didn't want to repeat that if I could help it. I felt myself blush, realizing I was glad to have a reason to shave again. I rinsed the shaving cream and gave myself a quick but thorough wash before slipping on my on pajamas. I needed to get something a little sexier than yoga pants and tank tops, soon.

I walked into the living room to find Jasper humming softly to Emmy who was cuddled into his neck, fast asleep. I smiled, watching as he absentmindedly ran his fingers through her sweet curls. I made my presence known and he smiled up at me as I walked toward him. I took Em from his arms and put her in her crib for the night.

I settled in beside Jasper on the couch, taking a deep breath. "You wanted to talk tonight?" I asked, diving right into the conversation. He met my eyes, looking startled.

"Well, we don't have to do it right this second," he replied, eyes wide.

"No, I think I want to, actually," I said, with a lump in my throat. I wasn't sure I was telling the truth. "Alright," he sighed. He grabbed my hand and slid so he was very close to me, thigh to thigh, arms touching. "Well, I know how I feel," he said, cutting his eyes at me, looking very bashful. "I really love spending time with you. I've always loved you as a friend, and now what I'm feeling is definitely more than friendship. I don't know. I'd really like to see where this can go. I don't want to see anyone else, but I understand if you do. I know you're just now considering dating again."

I looked into his face and smiled shyly. "I don't want to date anyone else. I've never really wanted to date a lot of people. I mean, I have a baby; my priorities are different. I just don't want anything that happens between us to affect your relationship with Emmy," I finished quietly, looking down at my lap.

"Bells, you don't have to ever worry about that. I love that little girl. I'm her Uncle Jazz and that's never gonna change," he assured me. He kissed the top of my head and said, "So, are we going to tell people, then?"

I shrugged, "Well, I know I need to tell Esme, because she's going to have to baby-sit when we go on our date Friday. And, your sister is scary when she's intent on getting information. I'm not entirely sure if I can keep it a secret from her. But, if you're more comfortable, I'm sure-" he stopped me by squeezing my lips together between his thumb and middle finger.

"Relax," he soothed. "I'm fine with telling people. Hell, I want people to know!" he said, chuckling. We talked for a while longer and made out like teenagers. At nine o'clock, he stood to go home. "I have some papers to grade," he said with a sigh. I frowned, not wanting him to leave just yet.

"You could just walk over and get your papers," I said softly, running a finger down from his chest to the waistband of his pants. "And your toothbrush," I finished, curling my finger beneath the denim.

His eyes widened, almost comically, and he swallowed loudly. He recovered quickly and responded, "Well, I won't argue with that logic. I'll be right back."

I grinned to myself as he walked out my door. I checked on Emmy to find her sleeping soundly, and closed her door behind me. I washed my face and brushed my teeth and when I emerged from the bedroom, I found Jasper at the kitchen table spreading out several papers. "These won't take long," he said, smirking, and went back to work. I dropped a kiss on his head and grabbed a book. I curled up on the sofa to read for a while and before I knew it, Jasper was standing over me, a huge smile on his handsome face. "Let's get you to bed," he said, with a twinkle in his eye.

With a shy smile, I took he hand he offered and we made our way to my bedroom, checking the locks and turning out all the lights on the way. I spent my night wrapped in his embrace, exploring and being explored. I loved the way my body reacted to his and it thrilled me to watch how his body reacted to mine. He brought me to tears when he was gentle and passionate and he made me laugh out loud when he was playful. It was nearly one o'clock when we finally tangled our legs together and settled beneath the covers. My head rested on his chest, and I felt my eyes drift closed, lulled to sleep by his heartbeat. For the second time in as many nights, I had a peaceful sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

We were startled awake at 5:00 the next morning by a loud noise. Jasper and I both bolted out of bed, panicking, until we realized it was just Emmy screaming, "Mama!" at the top of her lungs. Jasper threw on his t-shirt and boxers while I scrambled into my pants and tank top. "Go back to sleep," I whispered, and went to collect the girl. I changed her diaper and rocked her for a few minutes. She was drowsy and I knew if I lay down with her for a while, she'd be out for another couple of hours. I walked back to my bedroom and Jasper looked up at me and smiled. He pulled back the covers and Emmy and I settled in bed beside him.

"Hey," Emmy said with a grin, rolling into Jasper's side. In a move that caused my heart to flutter, he scooped her up and laid her on his chest and pulled me to rest against his side. He was humming softly and I began to drift to sleep. When I woke up again, I looked at the clock and jumped out of bed. I was very confused, as it was 8:30 and I was in bed alone. I thought for a moment and realized it was Wednesday, and Jasper should definitely be working.

I ran into the kitchen and found Emmy at her high chair, covered with oatmeal, and Jasper was busy cooking bacon and eggs. I stood in the doorway for a minute and just soaked in the sight. He was very comfortable in my kitchen and he was having quite the conversation with Em about the benefits of recycling. I giggled out loud and his eyes found mine immediately. "Good morning," I said, my voice hoarse from sleep. I walked to him and wrapped my arms around his waist "I'm not complaining, but why aren't you at work?"

He smiled down at me. "Well, Em and I woke up and you looked so peaceful that we decided to let you sleep. I decided I needed a mental health day, so I called in today." His arms tightened around me and he kissed my forehead. "Plus, I figured I could watch the girl while you go see my sister."

I snuggled into his chest. "Well, now I don't want to leave! I can't believe you're here all day and I have to go have a scary talk with Rose," I whined.

He chuckled, "Well, it's only 8:30 right now. You're going over there around 10:00, right?" I nodded my head and he continued, "Well, I'll still be here when you get home and we'll have the rest of the day to hang out."

I pouted as we sat at the table to eat. "Okay, okay," I mumbled around a mouthful of bacon. "I'm a little nervous. Do you think she'll be okay with this?"

"I can guarantee that she's going to be thrilled," Jasper assured me. "She loves both of us and just wants us to be happy."

When I finished my breakfast, I snuggled up with Emmy for a while and Jasper went home to shower and change. He showed up a bit later with his guitar and pointed me towards the bathroom, swatting my behind. "Go, get ready. I promise it'll be fine," he urged with a kiss.

I showered quickly and threw my hair up into a messy knot on top of my head. I dressed in a plain green t-shirt and jeans, and a pair of flip flops. A bit of tinted moisturizer and lip balm and I was ready to go. I kissed Emmy's pretty curls and Jasper's jaw, grabbed my keys and purse and scooted out the door.

When I got to Rose and Tanya's house, I was shocked. Rose let me in, warning me in a whisper that Tanya and Jacob were napping. Their house is usually so clean it makes me vomit in my mouth a little. Emmy has literally eaten off of their floor and it didn't make me flinch. Generally speaking, walking into their front door is a pleasure for at least two of your senses, as they are crazy about the smells of the products they use and like them to "mix together harmoniously"- Tanya's words, not mine. In short, they are insane cleaners, possibly suffering from OCD, and talented decorators. The house I walked in today was very, very different.

I gaped at the junk strewn throughout the living room. It looked like a tornado had landed right in the middle of their dining room; papers were scattered all over the table and overflowed onto the floor. The kitchen had dishes piled all over the counters and what looked to be flour spilled all over their beautiful tile. I couldn't hold in my giggle. "Rose, you've been home two days!" I squeaked, laughing out loud. "I love you, Honey, but we're gonna need to do some cleaning before I can even talk to you!"

Rose's face turned into an embarrassed and maybe slightly pissed scowl. "Yeah, I know, we've been a little overwhelmed." I looked at her face for the first time since I walked in the house and noticed how exhausted she looked. Her lovely eyes had circles so dark and deep, they looked bruised. Her face was drawn, her mouth turned down, and she didn't have a drop of makeup on. Her hair was thrown up into a sloppy ponytail and she was wearing pajama pants. I was worried.

"Okay, Rosie, I'm going to take care of this for you. You're going to climb into bed with your family. Do you want me to wake you up to chat or do you want to catch up next time?"

"Wake me up, please. And, for the love of Christ, don't call me Rosie," she snapped. "I love you, Bells," she added softly, turning and walking towards the bedroom.

It took me over two hours to clean the house. I had a bit of trouble with the crazy flour mess in the kitchen, and I nearly had a nervous breakdown in the dining room. The papers were out of order and didn't make any sense to me, so I just piled them all up in the corner of the table and called it good. I was just finishing up when Jacob started crying. Rose made her way into the living room and patted the couch beside her. She flopped over into my lap and I ran my fingers through her tangled hair for a while.

"Tanya's nursing the baby," she explained, apropos of nothing. I just nodded and waited for her to wake up and harass me as I knew she intended.

Slowly, she sat up and looked me in the eye. She looked much better than she did when I arrived, but she was obviously still tired. Her stare made me a little uncomfortable, as Rosalie has always been able to see right through me. "You fucked my brother, didn't you?" she asked with a hard stare.

"Uh, I uh," I stammered, blushing.

"I fucking knew it!" she exclaimed, her serious expression switching to one of glee. "Oh, my God, tell me everything! Well, not everything, please. Keep in mind this is my brother!"

I started at the beginning with how I felt the tingles and ended with this morning, telling her as much as I could without making her extremely uncomfortable. "He's pretty wonderful," I sighed, finishing up my story.

"So you guys are dating?" she asked in an excited squeal. I nodded in response. "Oh, I'm excited! You're going to be my sister!"

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves, here. Our first date isn't even till Saturday!" I laughed.

"He's loved you forever, Bella. I know you're going to be happy together," she said softly.

"What do you mean? You said something like that at the hospital the other day, too. Jasper's never acted like he was interested in more than friendship with me," I said, confused.

"You remember when you and I were in 8th grade and we went to Jasper's 16th birthday party?" I nodded, urging her to continue, "Well, do you remember how his girlfriend was acting like such a little snot?" I thought back, remembering how Maria complained to her girlfriends about everything; the food, the music, even Jasper. I actually cornered her in the kitchen and told her to stop being such a bitch. I nodded again, annoyed with the memory.

"Well, apparently, you said some things to Maria that Jasper overheard and he just thought it was really nice of you to stand up for him. He always thought you were a cool girl, and he loved how you were always yourself, but from that day on, it was like he thought of you a little differently. Although, it could have been that fucking bikini that made him look at you that way. You were just getting curves and you looked so hot that day!" Rose teased, giggling.

"How the hell did I not know this?" I asked, flabbergasted. Surely, she was mistaken!

"Well, for one thing you were all tied up in Emmett. Plus, he never said anything about it because he knew that you and Emmett were meant to be. But, I know for a fact that he compared girls he dated to you all the time. No one ever quite compared. He and I have talked about this, but I swear to you I'll kill you if you mention this to him!" she warned. I wanted to believe she was joking, but I couldn't be sure; her eyes were blazing as she looked at me.

I gulped and nodded, feeling a little nervous. "Of course, I won't say anything," I promised. "He's an amazing guy, Rose, and I really do hope things work out for us. I would hate for it to ever get weird if it didn't."

She was shaking her head before I finished my sentence. "You don't have to worry about that, Bells. First, I just know it's going to work out, and second, you guys are such close friends; I know neither of you will let things get bad enough to ruin that."

"Thanks, Rose," I said, feeling good about our conversation. I was really worried about what she would think. "I guess I'm gonna head home. I love you and call me if you and Tanya want some rest, ok?" I said, giving her a huge hug.

"Love you, too, Bells. Go love up on my brother," she giggled. I laughed, shaking my head as I walked to my car.

When I got home, Jasper and Emmy were dancing like wild people to Eagles of Death Metal, and I laughed out loud at the sight. "Mama!" they both shouted, smiling.

"Well, hi!" I giggled and scooped Em up to dance for a minute. "What did you guys do today?"

"Well, we read and danced and watched Blues Clues and danced some more," Jasper said smiling. "That girl loves some Blues Clues!" he chuckled.

"Yeah, she sort of zones out when that show's on," I agreed.

We sat around, watching Emmy play and just enjoying each other. I was tucked into Jasper's side and his arm was wrapped securely around me and his hand played with the ends of my hair. "God, I love this," Jasper murmured into my hair.

"What do you love?" I asked, feeling drowsy.

"I love being here with you guys, just hanging out. I love watching Em play and grow. I love her. I love you," he said softly.

I looked into his face, surprised. His eyes were wide and he looked nervous. I smiled a wide, goofy smile and he relaxed a bit. I kissed his jaw and whispered into his neck, "I love you, too."


	13. Chapter 13

"Yeah?" he asked. His eyes were shining and his smile stretched from ear to ear.

"Very much," I replied, still grinning like a goof. I leaned into him, pressing my lips against his for a very chaste, but perfect kiss. As I moved back, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye that made my heart stop.

"Emmy!" I nearly shouted, startling her. She was standing in the middle of the room with no assistance. She fell flat on her bum and poked her bottom lip out in an adorable little pout. "Jasper, did you see that? I think she was _walking_!" We both slid off the couch and sat on the floor, several feet apart. I grabbed the girl and positioned her in front of me so she was standing, and steadied her hips.

Jasper called for her. "Emmy Kate, come here baby girl!" he cooed. She giggled and took four steps forward before dropping to her hands and knees and crawling the rest of the way.

"Oh, my gosh," I gasped. "Can you come here, Emmylou?" I asked in a sing song voice, trying my very best not to sound too intense. I didn't want to make her nervous. She clapped her hands and gave me her very best dimpled smile before walking all the way back to me. Her little arms were out to the side and her bottom was following the rest of her body, her head leading the way. Her legs lifted like a Tennessee walking horse and she was beautiful. I clapped and scooped her up, hugging her tightly. "Well this has sure been an eventful day," I giggled.

"I'm taking you girls out to celebrate!" Jasper said suddenly, rubbing his hands together and smirking.

"Go get ready and I'll be back in a few minutes," he ordered. I changed Emmy's outfit and packed her bag. I brushed my hair and Emmy's and Jasper walked back in the house just as I was slipping on my shoes. He had a canvas bag in his hand and a blanket under his arm.

"Where are we going?" I asked, curious about the bag and blanket.

"Well, I thought maybe we could go to the park and have a picnic," he answered, lowering his eyes to the floor and looking a little shy.

I smiled widely, loving the idea. "That sounds perfect," I said, happily. Both of our hands were full, so I dug out our seldom used stroller and loaded the girl into it. Jasper stowed the blanket and Em's diaper bag under the seat and we headed out the door. We walked slowly to the park, just enjoying each other's company. We talked about our upcoming date and he reminded me to call Esme to baby-sit.

I was actually a little bit nervous about that conversation, but I imagined it would go smoothly. After all, I knew she loved me and she loved her nephew. She couldn't be too upset, I hoped. He wouldn't give me any hints about what we were doing Saturday despite my pleas, but he told me to dress comfortably and casually.

When we got to the park, we walked over near the pond and set up our picnic. Jasper spread out the blanket and I grabbed the bag of food. He had made us some ham and cheese sandwiches, chips, chocolate chip cookies, and bottles of water. He even grabbed some chicken noodle soup for Em. He smiled at me and looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry I didn't have anything fancier. I need to go shopping."

I kissed his cheek and smiled, "This is perfect," I assured him. We dug into our sweet picnic and watched the people playing and pointed out the ducks to Emmy. When we were full, we played with the girl, tickling her belly and making her squeal. Then we walked to the bridge to feed the fish from the small bag of bread that Jasper packed. We let Emmy walk between us as we headed back up the path to the stroller.

"Thank you so much for this," I said. "This was a wonderful day."

"Thank you guys for letting me hang out today. I've had a really fun time," Jasper replied. "We should probably head back. It's going to be dark soon," he said, loading Emmy into the stroller and throwing his arm around me. When we got home, he helped me unload the girl and get the stroller back into the closet.

"I need to head home. I don't think I'll make it to work tomorrow if I stay again," he murmured, pulling me into his embrace. Disappointment flooded through me and I felt silly.

We kissed for a few minutes until we were pulled apart by a little girl wiggling in between our legs and saying, "Up." We chuckled and Jasper picked her up, giving her a big hug and kiss on the cheek. "Good night little girl," he said to Emmy. "Take care of Mama." He gave me one more quick kiss on the cheek.

"I love you," he whispered, tickling my ear.

"I love you, too," I assured him.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he said, walking out the door.

The rest of the night was spent playing and singing and cuddling with the girl. After I put her to bed, I took a quick shower and threw on some pajamas. I tried to settle in with a book, but I couldn't concentrate. I was restless and it was still early, so I decided to call Esme.

"Hello?" Esme's sweet voice came through the phone. My stomach clenched unexpectedly and I realized I was nervous.

"Hey, Esme," I said, "I have a favor to ask." My voice sounded strained to my own ears.

"What do you need, Bella?" Esme asked, sounding concerned.

I wasn't sure how to phrase what I needed, and I decided to just be honest. "I need a babysitter for Saturday. I have a date," I said in a rush.

"A date! With who?" Esme squealed, sounding like a teenager. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves.

"With Jasper," I said quietly.

I was met with complete silence. _Shit._

"Esme?" I asked, thinking maybe she hung up.

"I'm here, Bella," She responded in a flat voice. "Did you just say you have a date with Jasper?"

"Yes," I responded, the knot in my stomach tightening by the second.

"Jasper, my nephew? Emmett's cousin?" she continued with the same flat voice.

"Yes," I whispered, "Esme, are you angry with me?"

"I need to let you go," she replied quickly, and hung up the phone.

I sat, stunned, with the phone still next to my ear. I had no idea what Esme was so upset about, but I felt guilty suddenly. I wasn't even sure _why _I felt so guilty; just that I definitely did.

Before I realized I had made the decision to, I dialed Jasper's number. "Hello?" he answered, his voice low and sexy.

"Can you come over here?" I asked in a squeaky, shaky voice.

"What's wrong, Baby?" he asked, and I knew that if I wasn't so worried, I would have thrilled at the endearment.

"I'll explain when you get here," I answered, already unlocking my door. Seconds later, he walked in my living room wearing nothing but a pair of plaid pajama pants. They were hanging so low I was momentarily distracted. I wanted nothing more than to run my tongue along the groove that ran in a 'v' shape along his hips and down into those damn pants. I snapped my eyes up and looked into his worried face.

"I called Esme and I think she's mad at me," I let out in a rush. Jasper sat down with a very surprised look on his face.

"What? Why would she be mad?" Jasper asked, grabbing my hand and pulling me to sit beside him on the sofa.

"I don't know, but she hung up on me after I told her we had a date and I'm worried. I don't want her to be angry, and I don't know why she would be, so I can't even attempt to fix it," I said, feeling defeated.

"Listen, Baby, don't worry about it," Jasper said, wrapping his arm around me. "No matter what happens, I'm here, and I love you. We'll figure it all out together. I promise. Maybe Esme is just overwhelmed- I don't know, but I'm sure she'll be alright."

"I love you, too," I said, climbing into his lap, straddling his legs and laying my head on his shoulder. I focused on his strong, steady heartbeat and his hands that were rubbing soothing patterns into my lower back. I let myself relax and melt against his chest, feeling drowsy and heavy. My eyes drooped and I smiled, feeling completely secure wrapped in Jasper's arms. He stood up, holding me up by the back of my thighs and carried me to the bedroom. I climbed in under the sheets and pulled him down beside me.

"Can you just stay for a while? Just until I fall asleep?" I asked, wrapping myself around him.

"Of course," he breathed, "Let me set an alarm in case I fall asleep," he said as he reached across me and set my alarm clock. He settled back into the bed, pulling me flush against him and resting his chin on the top of my head. "I love you, Girl," he whispered.

I don't even think I answered him, as I was already drifting to sleep. When I woke up again it was still dark and I was confused. Jasper was snuggled against me and Emmy was quiet, but I was certain some noise woke me. I lay still, listening carefully for a few minutes. It was silent and I finally fell back to sleep.

It seemed like only minutes later, my phone woke me with its shrill tone. I glanced at the clock and it was only 5:45. My heart jumped to my throat and pounded out of control. All sorts of disasters ran through my head as I jumped out of bed and ran to the living room to answer the phone. "Hello?" I asked, breathless and worried.

"Bella, it's Esme. I'm sorry to call you so early," she began hesitantly.

"It's okay, Esme. What's wrong?" I asked, still panicking.

"Nothing's wrong. I just need to come over this morning and speak with you, if that's okay," she answered in a detached voice.

"Um, sure," I stammered, "That would be fine. What time do you want to come? I can have some breakfast for you."

"I'll be there around 8:00, Bella. You don't need to cook. I don't plan to stay," she said sharply. I heard a click and the phone was silent. I stared at the phone, stunned. Esme hung up on me again.

I walked back into the bedroom and slid into bed. Jasper opened his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to focus. I smiled at him and he cupped my cheek with his hand. "Are you okay?" he asked in a sleepy, raspy, sexy voice.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Esme just called and she's coming over this morning. I'm a little worried about what she's going to say," I admitted. "She hung up on me again."

"Please don't worry. As I said, we'll work it out. Hopefully she'll get over whatever's upsetting her," he said, as his thumb rubbed over my jaw lightly. He leaned into me and kissed a trail from my chin to my ear, making me squirm. "I need to head home. I'm not even entirely sure I have a clean shirt to wear to work today," he chuckled into my neck.

I groaned and pulled him tightly against me. "Fine," I huffed, pouting a bit. "Can I call you sometime today and let you know what Esme says?"

"My free period starts at 10:15," he answered, "Call my cell phone." I walked him to the door and he left me with a quick kiss. I locked up behind him and went back to bed. I lay there wide awake; hoping with everything I had that Esme and I could work out whatever was bothering her.


	14. Chapter 14

By the time Esme was due to arrive, I was a nervous wreck. When the doorbell finally rang, I let out a  
yelp and nearly jumped out of my skin. Emmy looked at me curiously from the floor where she was  
playing. I answered the door warily, stepping out of the way to let Esme in the house.

"Good morning," I said as warmly as I could manage with a huge lump in my throat.

"Bella," she responded with a nod. "I was hoping we could talk for a minute." I nodded and offered her a  
seat on the couch. Emmy gave her a huge grin and Esme returned it wholeheartedly, allowing me to hope  
things weren't as dire as I imagined. I put a Blue's Clues DVD in and set Emmy up on the rug to watch it.  
Once she was in her Steve trance, Esme began.

"Bella, I love you very much. I was actually up most of the night wondering if I should come talk to you  
today, but I think there are things you should know." I nodded, encouraging her to continue. "I know that  
you know about Jasper's past. He was never with anyone for very long and frankly, he just plowed  
through girls like crazy." I nearly chuckled. It was true. Jasper had been known as quite the player in high  
school and college, but hell, he was a good looking guy and girls threw themselves at him.

"Okay, Esme. What is it you're trying to say? That Jasper is still a player? Because that was a long time  
ago." I was confused.

"No. I was just working up to what I actually wanted to say. I have a friend, Maggie, who works at  
Planned Parenthood. She wasn't supposed to tell me this, I am aware, but she did. She could really get into  
a lot of trouble by me sharing this with you." I looked at her, uncomprehending. She seemed to realize  
that she didn't actually tell me anything and her cheeks reddened. She focused on her hands which were  
folded in her lap and continued her story. "She said that Alice came into the clinic and that she had an  
abortion. She was crying hysterically and she was alone. Jasper came over to my house the very next day  
acting as though nothing had happened, and a month later he dumped her."

I stared at her in shock. She had pieced together facts into something that made sense to her, but it was  
completely incorrect. When I didn't say anything, she tried to sum it up. "Bella, Jasper forced Alice to  
have an abortion and then he dumped her anyway. He isn't the kind of person you should date. I love him  
and I want him to be happy, but I don't want him to hurt you. I feel terrible about this, but you're  
important to me and I couldn't let you make a mistake."

As she opened her mouth to say more, I stopped her. "Esme, I believe you have your facts twisted. And, I  
think maybe you should talk to Jasper about this, because this isn't something I feel comfortable talking  
about."

"Bella, please, I know you care for him, but I know what happened. Maggie told me." I stopped her before  
she could get further.

"Esme, I really do appreciate your concern, but you're wrong. I know the actual story and I have a hard  
time understanding why you'd believe second hand information without consulting Jasper." I was very  
disappointed in Esme. She was generally so loving and willing to give people the benefit of the doubt.

She remained unconvinced, but civil. I was a little relieved to realize that she wasn't actually angry with  
me, but worried about how to broach this subject. We talked for a short while and she played with Emmy  
for a bit. As she prepared to leave, she warned me once again, "I hope you'll think about what I've told  
you and just be careful," she pled as she kissed me on the cheek and walked outside into the rain.

I took a deep breath and looked at my watch. It was nearly time for Jasper's free period, and I wasn't sure  
if I should call him or not. His aunt's misunderstanding of his last relationship wasn't something I wanted  
to tell him about, though I did feel he deserved to know. I decided to wait until he got home to speak with  
him.

Emmy and I had a pretty uneventful day. The climax of our afternoon was making peanut butter cookies. I  
thought maybe I'd soften the blow Jasper was sure to feel by his aunt's assumptions with sweets.  
At 3:45, there was a knock on the door. I ran to let Jasper in and he looked into my eyes immediately, a  
worried look on his face. "How'd it go? I wasn't sure what to think when I didn't hear from you." He kept  
his voice light, but I flinched slightly at the undercurrent of accusation I heard.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you in person." I said, walking to the kitchen. "Cookie?" I asked, offering  
the plate.

"Oh, shit. Tell me what she said," he pressed. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but concern and  
love. I felt guilty for what I was about to do. I still wasn't sure it was my place to mention anything. I  
sighed heavily and nodded, leading him to the living room.

"I have actually been going back and forth about this all day. I'm not sure you should hear this from me.  
Your aunt has a few of her facts… misaligned," I hedged. Jasper looked at me with a furrowed brow.

"Misaligned?" he asked, sounding confused and frustrated.

"Yes. She found out that Alice had an abortion." Jasper's eyes widened and he swallowed thickly. He  
nodded slightly, motioning for me to continue. "Well, it seems that she thinks you asked Alice to abort  
and then dumped her." I looked up to see his face contort in anger. His cheeks were red and his eyebrows  
lowered. I watched as his jaw clenched and released.

"And, what did you tell her?" he asked, barely able to keep the tremor from his voice.

I cleared my throat and replied, "Well, I told her that she was mistaken and that she should speak with  
you. I wasn't comfortable telling her the truth and I wasn't sure you'd even want me to."

Jasper sat stock still for a few minutes, his hands curled into tight fists. He took a deep breath and let it all  
out in a huff. "I can't believe she'd think that about me!" he said shaking his head.

"I know, Jazz. I truly think you should talk to her. You know she loves you. Sometimes it's easier to take  
gossip at face value than to ask about it. I'm sure it'd be good to clear the air," I said, taking his hand.

"Yeah," he breathed. "You're right, of course. I just want to be mad for a while longer," he chuckled  
darkly.

I smiled. "I understand, although I think it'd be better to get this out in the open sooner than later."  
We were interrupted by Emmy, toddling over to us, holding on to the coffee table with one hand. "Hey,  
'apa!" she said in her sweet angel baby voice.

Jasper's face lit up instantly and his smile was blinding and beautiful. He lifted Emmy up and held her  
close. "Hey, Emmylou!" he said, excitedly. "Did you hear her, Bells? She said my name!" He covered  
Emmy's face and neck in smacking kisses. "You are such a little grown up!" he gushed.

Emmy buried her face in his neck and giggled loudly. She wiggled her bum and kicked her feet trying to  
get down. Jasper released her from his tight grip and she patted my leg, "Mama," she said, her hands lifted  
for me to pick her up. She sat quietly in my lap and fell asleep as I played wither her pretty curls.

"Do you want to stay for supper?" I asked Jasper.

"Nah, I need to go home. I have lots of tests to grade and an Aunt to call. I'll try to call you before bed,  
okay?" he asked, standing and taking Em from me. He got her settled in her bedroom and walked back  
into the living room. He pulled me close to him and rested his forehead against mine. "I love you, Girl,"  
he whispered leaning even closer to cover my lips with his. His lips parted slightly and his tongue gently  
caressed my bottom lip. I gasped against his mouth and he took the opportunity to massage my tongue  
with his. He ended the kiss before I was ready and I whimpered a bit at the loss. He smiled and gave me  
one last quick peck. "I'll talk to you later," he said.

"Okay," I answered. "Jasper?" I said, stopping him as he walked through the door.

"Yeah?" he responded, turning back to face me.

"I love you, too." I said with a grin on my face.

That night I let Emmy sleep in my bed with me, as I wasn't sure how well I'd sleep alone. We cuddled up  
and I hummed a lullaby to her quietly. Her little fist was filled with a handful of my hair and her sweet  
face was on my pillow next to mine. I ran my fingers through her hair softly and just studied her sleeping  
form. She was so small; just a tiny little bundle of cute. She was very beautiful and very, very warm. It  
was like sleeping with an adorable space heater. I fell asleep to the sound of her deep breaths and  
contented sighs.

I sat upright in bed, my heart pounding and my breathing erratic. I felt for the second night in a row that  
something had snatched me from my slumber and I struggled to put my finger on what it could be. I  
listened intently for several minutes and again I heard nothing. I convinced myself I was just having  
nightmares and finally, finally fell asleep.

The next morning Emmy woke me up by slapping me on the cheek and squealing. "Mama up!" she said  
with a giggle.

I cracked open one eye and tried to focus my blurry vision. "Morning, Sweets. Hungry?" I asked, picking  
her up and heading into the kitchen. What I saw made me break into a cold sweat and I felt the blood  
drain from my face. My mouth was dry and I thought I might get sick.

My back door was standing open.


	15. Chapter 15

I stood, paralyzed, staring at the back door. I hated feeling helpless and the idea that someone was in my house while I was sleeping scared the shit out of me, to be frank. I glanced around my kitchen and noticed something odd; there were plates on the breakfast bar filled with goodness. Omelets, fruit, and toast graced the plates and Emmy's high chair was loaded with scrambled eggs and a sippy cup filled with milk. I wasn't sure what to make of this new development until my intruder made his way back in my door.

"Jasper! What the fuck are you doing?" I shouted at him, anger coursing through my body. I felt a little guilty when the smile fell from his face and his shoulders dropped, but I couldn't find it in me to apologize. I put Emmy in her high chair and sat down, trying to calm myself. "You scared me," I explained quietly. I dropped my face into my hands and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have screamed at you like that. Thanks for breakfast," I sighed, looking into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, B. I just wanted to surprise you. I missed you last night," he said, looking pretty bashful.

"I missed you, too." I stood and walked around the bar to wrap my arms around his waist. "I just thought I heard something last night and when I woke up this morning to find my door open and nobody around, I panicked," I explained.

"I really am sorry. I just went out back to take out the trash," he said, burying his face in my hair. "I wanted to tell you about my conversation with Esme last night."

I felt terrible: in all the excitement, I had forgotten all about the Esme drama. "What happened?" I demanded.

"Well, I called her last night and told her that if she had any questions about my life, she should come to me instead of relying on her friends for information. She and I had a good talk. She told me everything that she heard and I told her the truth. She was extremely apologetic and she cried a lot. Honestly, she just made a mistake. She swore to me, though, that she'd always be sure to come to me first. I think we'll be fine, eventually."

I huffed a little. "I'm glad you guys worked it out, but I'm still a little disappointed in her," I pouted.

"I know, Baby," he said, smiling into my hair. "You hungry?" he asked, leading the way to sit at the breakfast bar.

We ate our breakfast quickly and he hung out for a few minutes before heading to work. After he left, I changed the girl into her little bikini and we went out onto the patio. I pulled out her little pool and filled it up, grabbing some cups and ladles from the kitchen. We spent a lot of time outside, just filling the cups with water and dumping them out. Em especially loved it when I dripped the ladles of water over her head. When her little fingers turned into prunes, I took her inside to change her into some shorts and a t-shirt and gave her a snack.

We decided to go outside and play again as it was a beautiful day. I grabbed a bucket and we walked around the neighborhood picking up pretty leaves and wildflowers. Well, I picked up pretty leaves and wildflowers while Emmy picked up mainly rocks and handfuls of dirt. By the time we got back home, it was lunch-time and Em had missed her morning nap. She was cranky and wiggly while I made her lunch and she fell asleep on her tray while she was eating. I gently wiped her face and hands and carried her to her bedroom. I cleaned up our lunch mess and drained her pool before collapsing on the couch with a book. I tried to read for a while but I dozed off, not waking up until I heard Emmy call for me.

I was bleary-eyed as I made my way into her bedroom and I yawned like a crazy woman as I changed her diaper. I cuddled Emmy to me as I grabbed the photo album and tried to think of another story to tell her about her daddy. I decided on one as I looked through the album. I pointed out a picture of me and Emmett In our tree house. We were probably 12 years old and we were smiling widely at the camera.

I pulled Emmy into my side and as soon as we were comfy, I began, "When we were in 3rd grade, your daddy and I found the perfect tree in which to build a tree house. We begged Grandpa to buy the lumber and let us borrow the tools we needed, and we worked on that thing for days. When we were finally finished building it, we painted signs that we hung all around and we had the best time getting everything set up.

"Well, one day after school, I ran out to the tree house to find that your daddy had posted a new sign that said, 'No stupid girls allowed!' I ran home and cried and cried thinking your daddy didn't want to be my friend anymore. A few hours later, after supper, someone knocked on my bedroom door. Your daddy was standing there, looking very sad. He asked why I didn't come play with him in the tree house and I told him that his stupid sign hurt my feelings. He laughed and laughed and told me that the sign wasn't for me. It was for the _stupid _girls in the neighborhood. He said I was a smart girl, and really not like a girl at all because I didn't even have cooties. That, my girl, was the day I knew I wanted to marry that boy one day."

Emmy smiled as I finished my story and said something in gibberish that I took to mean, "Good story, Mom! I'm going to go play with my blocks now." I quickly flipped through the photo album before replacing it on the shelf.

A short while later, Jasper came over, and my day was instantly infinitely better. We played with the girl and after supper, I gave Em a quick bath while Jasper cleaned the kitchen. I took a shower while he rocked Emmy and read her a story. I took my time and shaved, buffed, moisturized and tweezed. I slipped on my pajamas and walked quietly back into the living room. I paused as I heard Jasper talking to Emmy.

I couldn't help but eavesdrop as I heard the tail end of his story.

"When they found out that your daddy caused Auntie Rose to get her head stuck in the fence, we were both punished. I had to do your Auntie Rose's chores as well as my own for a week. Your daddy had the worst job, though. He had to clean all the bathrooms for a month. He was my very best friend, Em. I wish you could have known him."

My eyes filled with tears and I blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. I walked over to Jasper and gave him a kiss on the cheek, taking Emmy and putting her to bed. When I got her settled, I went back to Jasper and sat in his lap, kissing his throat before speaking to him.

"I love you," I whispered against his skin. "Go get a change of clothes," I said as I stood and began turning off lights. "I'll be in the bedroom. Lock the doors, please."

He nodded dumbly and I went into my room as I heard the door close behind him. I decided I needed him too badly to be coy. I took off my clothes and climbed into the bed. When he returned, he strode into my bedroom with a huge smile on his face and a duffle bag on his shoulder. I lifted the sheet for him and when he realized I was naked, he smirked and lost his clothes quickly. We spent the next several hours kissing, licking, moaning, sweating, touching, and loving. I fell asleep surrounded by Jasper and still wishing we could be closer.

That night, it was Jasper who was startled in the middle of the night. He pulled on his boxers and walked to the window. He didn't see anything, but decided to check the rest of the house to be safe. I slipped on my pajamas, just in case. A few minutes later, he returned to the bedroom, his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw tight. "I didn't see anything," he muttered. "I could have sworn I heard something," he said, settling back into my arms. The next morning, he woke up with Emmy and brought her back to my bed. We were lazy for a while before we moved to start our day.

After a quick breakfast, Jasper excused himself. He said he needed to prepare for our date. He asked me to be ready by four o'clock and still wouldn't give me a hint. I kissed him at the door and called Esme to make sure she was still able to keep Em for the night. She assured me that she was looking forward to it, and apologized for our last conversation. She was heading to the market and offered to pick Emmy up on her way home. I agreed and packed a bag for the girl.

Esme and I had a nice long chat and after some hugs and tears, I felt much better about things. I had lost some respect for my second mother, but I had no doubt that she would earn it back. I gave my little baby lots of kisses on her sweet cheeks and sent the girls on their way.

I took a nice long bath and took my sweet time primping. I straightened my hair and decided to wear it down. I put on some light makeup; mascara, a touch of blush, and some lip gloss. I walked to my closet and tried to decide what to wear. He told me to dress casually, so I picked a pair of dark jeans and a green tank top with some cool beading along the bottom. I wasn't sure what we were doing, so instead of flip flops, I decided to wear a pair of comfy ballet flats. I was just checking my reflection when I heard Jasper knocking. I opened the door and was greeted with Jasper's huge smile and three huge sunflowers.

I gave him a quick kiss on the jaw and took the flowers into the kitchen. I found a wine bottle and filled it with water for them. Jasper wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck softly. "Ready to go?" he asked, his breath tickling my skin.

"I am. Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Not a chance," he replied, holding out his hand. "Don't you trust me?" he asked.

"I do," I replied, grasping his hand tightly in my own.


	16. Chapter 16

**Well, hi. I completely forgot about this story! I just got a lovely review the other day and though, "Oh shit, I forgot I was even posting that one!" I may be a little scatterbrained.**

We walked out to Jasper's truck hand in hand. When he opened the door for me, he leaned in and gave me a quick kiss in the hollow below my ear. "You're beautiful," he whispered, his breath tickling my ear. I felt my face heat up with a blush and I shivered and smiled at him as he helped me into my seat. We drove for about forty minutes, keeping our conversation light, until we reached an undeveloped area. He turned onto an unpaved road and my curiosity was piqued once again.

"Jazz, what-?" I began, but he interrupted me with his fingers to my lips. He smirked at me and then turned his attention back to his driving. We drove for a mile or so before he turned off the truck. I was completely confused, as we were in the middle of nowhere.

He climbed out of the truck, walking around to my door and offering me his arm. I accepted and followed him blindly into the woods. "You're not planning to kill me, right?" I joked, hoping to gather some clue about our date. He just chuckled and led me further into the trees. We came upon a clearing and I gasped in surprise and delight. There was an area of cleared land that included a gorgeous pond with a pier.

"What is this place?" I asked Jasper, unable to take my eyes off the sight before me.

"This is my land," he replied with a shrug. I stared up at him, my mouth hanging open and my eyes wide.

"You _own _this?" I squeaked. How did I not know about this?

"I do. Rose and I actually each have 18 acres here, and this is mine. We inherited it from Pop and Gram," he explained. Jasper's Pop and Gram had lived in Seattle when we were growing up, and we used to all love to visit them. His Gram made the best cookies in the world and his Pop loved to tell stories. He used to entertain us for hours with his tall tales. They were amazing and loving people and Jasper and Rose were devastated when they were killed by a drunk driver several years back.

I was brought back to the present by Jasper grabbing my hand and leading me towards the water. "Come on. I want to show you something." We walked onto the pier and at the end, over the water; Jasper had a table set up. It had two settings and a bottle of chilled champagne. He pulled out my chair and lifted the cover off my plate to reveal a cute meal of finger foods. I smiled up at him and he smirked, walking around to his chair.

"I can't believe how beautiful this place is," I remarked, as he poured us each a healthy glass of champagne. "Have you ever thought of building out here?"

"Not until recently," he replied, looking at me with an expression I didn't recognize. He smiled and held up his glass. "To us," he toasted.

I grinned at him and touched his glass with mine. "To us," I repeated. We ate our food in a comfortable silence. I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time. The pond was so peaceful and there wasn't any noise from passing traffic. I could definitely get used to this place. When we finished eating, Jasper offered to give me a tour of his land.

We walked around the cleared area and he led me onto a nearly hidden trail. I hesitated, stopping short as he led me into the dark, and he pulled at my hand gently. "Trust me," he said simply, and I couldn't resist him. I did trust him to lead me and not let me fall or get lost. We walked for about ten minutes before he slowed his gait. "We're here," he whispered.

"We're where?" I asked quietly. I couldn't see anything. He shifted and pulled me in front of his body and I gasped. We were in a separate, much smaller, cleared area. It was absolutely gorgeous, filled with wildflowers. He led me out into the clearing and towards an air mattress surrounded by gauzy curtains hanging from tree limbs.

"This is beautiful," I said quietly, walking around the mattress, fingering the gauze. "I can't believe you did this." He wrapped my hair around his hand, pulling my face to his. Our kiss was slow and immediately caused a delicious aching burn low in my belly. We held onto our kiss, breathing through our noses, until I was so breathless, I was nearly dizzy.

Jasper trailed kisses along my jaw to my ear and whispered roughly, "I want you, now."

I pulled back and grabbed his hand, leading him onto the mattress. I lay back and pulled him along with me, and we kissed and kissed and kissed as he laid his full body over mine. I loved the feeling of his weight on me and I whimpered as he lifted his body from mine. He smiled widely at the sound and assured me, "I'm not going anywhere, Baby. I just wanted to get you naked." I giggled and felt my face flush.

He lifted my shirt over my head and smiled when he saw that I wasn't wearing a bra. I grasped the hem of his t-shirt and roughly took it off him. I pulled him back down against me, loving the feeling of his bare chest against mine. I ran my hands over his shoulders and down his smooth back, scratching lightly.

When I reached his pants, I hooked my thumb under the waist band and ran my hands all the way around to the front. When my fingers hit the metal of the button, I slid it through the hole and unzipped them slowly. I slid my hand into his boxers, running my fingers lightly up and down his length. He hissed and pulled back slightly, bending to kiss along my collar bone and down to my breasts.

As he kissed and licked my left breast, his left hand tugged lightly at my right nipple. He used his right hand to undo my pants, and I was pretty damn impressed by his dexterity. We each pulled back a bit and wriggled out of our pants and underwear, reaching out for each other immediately. I loved the contact of his skin against mine, and I struggled to touch all of him at once. He, on the other hand, was trying his best to move slowly, trailing his hand so slowly it was nearly painful over my body: from my shoulder to my hip; around my hip to my ass; slowly trailing down my thighs and back again; only to start the whole process over. He was causing a slow burn to spread throughout my entire body.

My breath was coming out in ragged, sharp bursts of air, and I was seeing stars. He kissed every inch of me until finally; finally his mouth was where I wanted it. I moaned and wiggled and grasped his hair tightly as he performed miracles with his tongue. As I exploded against his mouth, he slowed down again, moving up my body with sloppy wet kisses all along my torso. He kissed my mouth hard and I felt him against my entrance. I lifted my hips just enough to push the tip of him inside me and he slammed his hips against mine. We moved together, breathing the same air, each one trying to get further inside the other.

Our hands explored, our hips moved together. My feet rested against his calves and I pushed against him, into him, wishing we could just absorb one another.

After we both climaxed, Jasper rolled onto his back, pulling me with him. I rested my head on his shoulder and we both worked to control our breathing. "I love you," I said softly, struggling to keep my eyes open.

"I love you, too, Girl," he whispered. "I was hoping we could stay out here tonight," he said, stroking my back softly.

"That sounds perfect," I said, smiling sleepily as he pulled a light quilt over our bodies.

"Goodnight Bella."

"Goodnight," I replied, as I fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up several hours later, and when I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see that Jasper was staring back at me. "What's wrong? Why aren't you sleeping?" I questioned, my voice low and raspy from sleep.

"Nothing's wrong. I was just watching you sleep."

"Wow," I smiled, "That's borderline creepy."

His face fell into a playful scowl. "I'm not creepy! You're just beautiful. And, you talk in your sleep," he added with a smirk.

"Oh shit," I mumbled. "I don't want to know what I said."

"It wasn't anything bad," he assured me. "You said my name. And that you loved me."

I relaxed a little, "Well, that's nothing you didn't already know," I said quietly, blushing.

He held my face in his hands and brought his mouth to mine. "I love you so much, Bella," he said, kissing me again and again until I couldn't hold back my giggle.

"I love you, too."

He looked into my eyes and I could tell he wanted to say something more, but he didn't. I sat up and wrapped the quilt over my shoulders. "What is it?" I asked with a voice filled with concern.

"What? Nothing!" he exclaimed so quickly that I knew he was lying. I stared at him, worried, until he finally cracked. "I was just thinking. It's nothing bad, I promise." He sat up slowly and leaned back on his hands.

"Will you tell me, please?" I asked, looking up at him through my lashes.

"I'm afraid I'll scare you off," he admitted quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere," I assured him.

He looked at me for a moment and then he focused his eyes at a spot over my head. I sighed, certain he wasn't going to answer me. His eyes suddenly snapped back to mine and they were filled with determination. "I was thinking about what it would be like to build my dream house here; to build _our _dream house here." I felt my eyes grow wide at his admission. My heart pounded in my chest as he continued, "I was imagining Emmy running around the property and she and I building a tree house together. I can see us, Bella, and I want it so badly I can barely breathe.

"I know this thing between us is too new to be talking about things like this, but I've known you most of my life and I've loved you longer than I think I even realized. I want this for us eventually."

I stared at him, taking in his beautiful features and his wide, scared eyes. Jasper was afraid. He was afraid that I would reject him. I nearly snorted at the thought, but instead decided to ease his worry.

"I want everything you just said. I didn't even know I wanted it until I heard it out loud. I hope we get there one day," I answered him.

"Me too," he answered with a sigh. "I'm not asking you to marry me or move in together right now, obviously, but it's nice that we both want that sort of future."

I crawled into his lap and straddled his legs. I pressed my closed lips to his in a very sweet, very chaste kiss. Our kiss grew until it was so much more than merely a kiss; it was everything we were feeling and everything we hoped we could become together.


	17. Chapter 17

I woke up the next morning to cold water dripping on my face and neck. I cracked my eye open and saw Jasper leaning over me, a wicked smile on his face. He was soaking wet and completely naked. When he saw that I was awake, he swooped down for a kiss. And, somehow when he stood, I was in his arms. I protested loudly and consistently, but he swiftly made his way to the pond and onto the pier. When he got to the edge, he said, "Hold your nose!" and jumped right in.

The water was shockingly chilly and I was pissed. "Jasper, you mother fucker! I can't believe you!" I shouted at him as he tried to wrap me in his arms. That wasn't the best way to be woken up. In fact, it sucked balls and I was sleepy and wet and treading water against my will. I pouted for several minutes while he tried to make it up to me, before finally relaxing back against his chest and enjoying the morning.

xoxo

We joked and laughed all the way home, and when we got there, I didn't want Jasper to leave. I convinced him to stay by proposing a water conserving shower solution. He grabbed a change of clothes and was in my bathroom before the water even had time to heat up. We washed one another extremely thoroughly, lingering on the more sensitive areas. When we were squeaky clean, we dried off and I made some sandwiches for lunch. We were all wrapped up on the couch together when Esme dropped Emmy off and I have to say I was proud of the way she handled herself. She was her normal sweet self, and I was thankful that everything between her and Jasper seemed to be resolved and forgotten.

The week flew by, with Jasper spending every night in my bed. I hadn't heard any noises in several nights and I was happier than I'd been in nearly two years. On Thursday, Jasper stayed with Em so I could go shopping for her birthday present. I bought her a new doll and something called a puzzle stacker from the toy store and then I headed to the bookstore. I bought several new books that I thought we'd enjoy reading together and walked to the checkout.

There was a very pretty redhead working at the register and I smiled as I handed over the books. She didn't have on a name tag, just a pin that said "trainee." When she looked up at me, her eyes widened and then her eyebrows came together in a scowl. She snatched the books across the counter and roughly tossed them into a bag. I stared at her, confused by her behavior. "That'll be $63.79," she sneered at me.

She seemed to be muttering under her breath, but I couldn't make out what she was saying. I handed her cash and as she gave me my change, she ground out a less than cheery, "Have a good day, _Bella_." I wasn't sure what to make of this strange girl.

As I walked out to my car, I tried to figure out what, other than her rude behavior, made me feel so uneasy about our encounter, when it hit me; she had called me by name. I wracked my brain trying to place the pretty, unfriendly girl and I kept coming up blank. I had no clue how she knew me or what in the world I had done to piss her off. I shook it off and went to the last store. I bought a few little outfits and a new pair of sandals and I was finished.

When I got home, Jasper had supper waiting for me and had fallen asleep rocking Emmy. I smiled at my two favorite people and eased Em from Jasper's arms. He jumped and looked around wide-eyed as I pulled her into my embrace. I smiled at him and put the girl in her bed. I ate and we chatted and laughed and when he asked about my day, I had completely forgotten about the weirdness at the bookstore.

xoxo

Saturday morning came much too soon. I woke up feeling proud but very, very weepy. I blinked rapidly, trying to keep my tears from falling. I snuggled into Jasper's back as they began to trail down my face. He rolled over and opened his eyes slowly. "Are you okay, Baby?" he asked, suddenly wide awake.

"I'm okay. I can't believe my baby is a year old today," I said with a pathetic sniffle.

"Aw, honey," he cooed at me, "You're alright. That little baby is growing into a wonderful little girl. She's becoming a person!"

My face crumpled and I began to cry in earnest. Jasper just held me, rubbing my back softly. He kissed my temple and hummed a sweet melody in my ear. "I think I know how to fix this," he finally announced, "I'll be right back."

I dried my eyes, feeling silly, as he walked out of the room. I waited as I heard him moving around the house. When he came back to the bedroom, he was not alone. He had with him a very sleepy looking Emmy. "Good morning, Baby girl! Happy birthday!" I sang out as Jasper placed her next to me in the bed.

She gave me a sweet sleepy smile, her little white teeth shining. I covered her face with kisses and she giggled and squealed and snorted. We played in bed for a while until Jasper came to tell us breakfast was ready.

I kissed his cheek as he sat Emmy in her high chair. "Thank, Jazz," I murmured into his neck. I felt very embarrassed by my outburst earlier.

"No problem, Pretty Girl," he grinned. After we finished our breakfast, I gave Em a quick bath and Jasper dressed her in her pretty birthday dress while I took my shower. I dressed quickly and let Jasper have his turn in the shower. When he was ready, I threw my hair up into a knot on top of my head and put some mascara and lip gloss on. We were ready to go.

When we walked through the zoo gate, Emmy's eyes were wide as saucers. We opted to have a picnic in the park as she wasn't old enough to warrant a carousel party. We set up the table that we had reserved with pink princess plates and Esme walked in with the food. Rose was in charge of the cake, and she made pretty pink princess cupcakes.

The guests had all arrived; a former coworker, Angela, and her husband Ben were there with their 18 month old twins, Rebecca and Rachel; Rose and Tanya were there with baby Jacob; Esme and Carlisle, of course; and Jasper's college roommate, Peter, and his wife Charlotte with their little boy, Marcus. My mom and dad came a few minutes late, after driving all the way to Seattle that morning. They were going to stay at the Cullen's house overnight and I was excited to have them around.

We had a great time eating, laughing, singing, and giving Em her gifts. She squeaked and clapped and blew kisses at everyone and it was really a lot of fun. She got lots of toys and books, but Jasper's gift was my favorite. He bought her an amazing quilt. It was pink and had 100 well wishing messages embroidered onto it. It was beautiful and thoughtful and my mom gave me quite an amusing face when she saw it.

After Emmy opened her gifts, we caught up with our friends and family. It was great to catch up with Angela. I hadn't seen much of her since we'd had our babies. I was pleased to see that we still had our easy friendship after all this time. It was also great to get to know Peter and Charlotte better. They had recently moved back to Seattle and Jasper was happy to have his friend back in town. I was sure we'd be seeing a lot of them after they got settled into their house.

My dad and Carlisle offered to load the gifts into my trunk while we walked around the zoo. We headed to the Zoomazium to let the kids play. We stayed in the toddler play area and Emmy especially enjoyed hatching from the egg and looking at all the fish tanks. Her little face was so sweet, her eyes were shining, her cheeks were pink, and her hair was in wild curls all over her head. I snapped a ridiculous amount of pictures and just enjoyed watching Emmy and Jasper play together and with the other kids.

When we had our fill of climbing, sliding, and crawling, Jasper lifted Em to his shoulders and we walked through some of the animal exhibits. At the petting zoo, he let her down to pet the sheep. She squeaked when the sheep licked her and she lifted her arms to Jasper again. When he had her settled back onto his shoulders, we walked to watch the gorillas. When we got to the exhibit, I looked up to find Em fast asleep, holding on tightly to Jasper's head. I giggled and took a picture before he lifted her into his arms and snuggled her against his chest. We walked for a while laughing with our friends and watching their kids' reactions to the animals. When we got to the gate, we left with promises to get together with Angela, Ben, Charlotte, and Peter without the kids. I was excited at the prospect of an adult night.

My mom stole my still sleeping baby from Jasper and convinced me to let her ride with them to the Cullen's house. On the way home, Jasper and I laughed and talked about our day. I was still having a hard time with the idea of my baby growing up, but all in all it was a nice day.

We got home and unloaded all of Emmy's presents. I chuckled lightly as I tried to rearrange her bedroom to make the toys fit. Jasper helped me sort through her toys and decide which ones to donate and which ones to keep. It took up quite a while because he kept distracting me, and by the time we finished and dropped the toys off at the shelter, it was time to head over to the Cullen's house.

As soon as we walked in the door, I knew something was up. All the grandparents were looking way too innocent and none of them would look us in the eye. We tried for several minutes to strike up a conversation with them with less than stellar results. They were definitely being shady. "What?" I finally asked, exasperated.

"Nothing," my mom murmured into her wine glass.

"Bullshit!" I exclaimed. "What's going on? You guys all look like you're up to something."

My dad cleared his throat and sat up straight. "So, Jasper?"

"Yes sir?" Jasper asked, looking uncomfortable.

"How long have you been sleeping with my daughter?"

Jasper's face was priceless. He eyes widened, his jaw dropped, his Adam's apple bobbed convulsively; it would have been pretty damn funny if I wasn't making the same face. We looked at each other, stunned, and then the laughter began. Our families were laughing at us. Loudly. I glared at my mother as I noticed tears streaming down her face. Bastards! I huffed and stomped into the kitchen to grab a glass of wine and calm the hell down.

My mom and Esme followed me. "Baby, we were just teasing you," my mom began, "but really; how long have you been together?"

I sighed, defeated. "About two weeks."

My mother's face lit up with a gigantic smile. "You love him," she stated, rather than asked.

"I do."

"Oh, Bella! You deserve to be happy, baby girl! He's good to you?"

"Very," I replied, with a blush and a grin.

We walked back into the living room just in time to hear the end of my dad's conversation with Jasper. "I don't want to have to hurt you," he was warning as we walked in the room.

"Dad!" I exclaimed, smacking him on the shoulder. "Stop threatening him! I'm a grown woman."

"So? You're still my daughter, Bells, and I'm always going to want to protect you."

I sat next to my dad on the couch and snuggled under his arm. "He's good for me, Dad," I said quietly.

"I know, Honey. It's my job to scare him a little."

I smiled and leaned against my dad for a while. Charlie smelled like Old Spice and beer and I felt like I was five years old. Jasper was talking quietly with his uncle across the room and when he glanced over, he caught me staring at him. He smirked at me before resuming his conversation.

We let the grandparents play with Emmy for a few hours, until it was past her bedtime and time for us to head home. On our way out the door, I hugged everyone. As my mom wrapped her arms around me, she whispered, "I love you two together."

"Me too," I replied with a grin.

When we got home, we walked in the door and headed straight to the bedroom. After we brushed our teeth and slipped on our pajamas, we went right to bed. We decided to let the birthday girl sleep in the bed with us. I rolled onto my side with my arm wrapped around Emmy. Jasper was on his side, facing us, with his arm on my hip. I fell asleep with a smile on my face, full of love, with the idea of _family _floating around in my dreams.


	18. Chapter 18

I woke up to the most delicious sensation between my thighs. I moaned loudly and involuntarily reached down to curl my fingers into the blond curls nestled there. Jasper was magic. "Oh god," I panted as he brought me to the most intense orgasm known to man. He kissed his way up my stomach and buried his face in my neck. "Good morning," I whispered, still trying to control my breathing.

"Morning, Girl," he replied, rolling onto his side and pulling me up against his body. "I made breakfast."

"Jesus Christ," I breathed. "You're pretty perfect. You know that?"

"I'm alright," he replied with a grin. "Let's go wake up that baby and eat."

I went into Emmy's bedroom and scooped her up and placed her on the changing table. She stirred and grumbled and as I finished changing her, she opened her eyes and scowled at me. "I know, Baby. It's early," I cooed as I changed her into a little sundress. We went into the kitchen and sat at the table. Jasper had a huge spread of bacon, eggs, and French toast waiting for us.

"Orange juice?" he asked, holding out the pitcher.

"Yes, please," I replied as I dug into my food. Over the past month, Jasper had become a regular fixture at our breakfast table and in my bed. We had spent only two nights apart since Emmy's birthday, and although I sometimes worried we were moving too fast, it seemed perfect for us.

We were both excited this morning. Esme and Carlisle were going to keep Emmy for the night while we had our friends over. We expected Angela, Ben, Charlotte, and Peter. Rose and Tanya were even coming, sans Jacob. It was their first time spending an evening without him and they were already nervous. We promised not to tease them if they made frequent calls or cut out early.

When we finished our breakfast, Jasper and Emmy played while I made a list so we could go grocery shopping before dropping Emmy at the Cullen's. We packed her a bag and headed to the store. We grabbed several steaks, potatoes, salad fixings, rolls, and so much beer I was afraid we'd have to get another cart.

As I loaded Emmy into her car seat, I noticed Jasper talking with someone as he returned our cart. I took a second glance and inadvertently caught the person's eye. When she glared at me, I realized it was Red, the weird girl from the bookstore. Jasper passed our cart to her and she walked into the store, looking over her shoulder and smirking in my direction.

As soon as Jasper got in the car, I was all over him. "Who was that girl?" I demanded, my voice harder than I expected.

He looked over at me with a surprised look in his eyes. "What girl?"

"The girl you were just talking to," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I don't know. She just said something about how much beer we bought and asked for my cart. I don't know her."

"Oh." I frowned a little and tried to push down the strange feeling I had from seeing her.

"What's wrong, Baby?" he asked with concern.

"She was rude to me."

"Today?" He looked so confused.

"No. It's not important. She worked at the bookstore a while back. I just thought maybe she knew you."

"Nope," Jasper answered, backing out of the parking space. We dropped Emmy off with Esme with the promise of eating supper with them the following evening. As we pulled away from the house, Jasper grasped my thigh tightly and said in a deep voice, "We have the house to ourselves for several hours."

My stomach clenched at his words and I urged him to drive a bit faster. We spent the next hour and a half making love and the two hours after that were spent on the patio, engrossed in books, and just enjoying the quiet. I had the steaks marinating and the potatoes were cut into fries. About an hour before everyone was due to arrive, I rushed to take my shower and make myself presentable. This was meant to be a very casual night, so I slipped on a pair of shorts and a tank top and threw my hair up. I didn't bother with makeup, just a quick smear of lip gloss, and threw my flip flops beside the back door.

Jasper took a shower as I lit the charcoal to heat the grill, coated the potatoes with olive oil and salt, and slid them into the oven. I did a quick sweep around the house to make sure there were no small toys or cheerios on the floor and just as I was walking back into the kitchen, the doorbell rang. Rose and Tanya stood in the doorway, fidgeting and twitching. "Come in girls. Sit down and try to relax, please. I'm going to get us some drinks."

I grabbed three beers from the refrigerator and tried to get the girls to settle down into a conversation.

Jasper walked out of the bathroom, followed by a trail of spicy smelling steam from the shower. "Hey!" he exclaimed as he walked into the kitchen to get a beer for himself. "You girls okay?" he asked with concern. Tanya and Rose were huddled up against each other on one side of the big couch. They were both playing with the hems of their shirts and Tanya was glancing at her phone few minutes.

"Yeah, we're fine. We are having kind of a hard time being away from Jake, I guess," Rose answered, blushing.

"It's fine. I didn't leave Emmy for a really long time and the first time I did, all I could do was think and talk about her."

The girls tried to relax and we were slipping into a pretty easy conversation when we heard a loud knock at the door, "Knock knock! Hey guys!" Peter said, walking in the door. His hands were full of beer and Charlotte held the door in one hand and a pie in the other.

"Hi, guys!" I exclaimed, taking the pie from Charlotte as Jasper relieved Peter of the beer. I took the steak from the refrigerator and passed it to Jasper, along with a tray and the tongs. He and Peter walked out the back door, already joking and laughing.

I made sure everyone had a drink and as I walked back into the kitchen, I saw Angela and Ben pull into the driveway. I opened the door as they walked up to the porch and greeted them with a smile and a beer. I lead them to the living room, where Angela sat on the love seat with Charlotte and poor Ben greeted everyone and stood awkwardly behind the couch looking around with a furrowed brow. I nodded to the back door and he gave me a relieved grin.

The girls and I giggled and gossiped while the boys cooked the steaks. When they walked in with the tray of meat, I threw the rolls in the oven and tossed the salad. Five minutes later, the rolls, fries, and salad were on the table next to the steaks and we were pulling chairs from Jasper's dining room into mine.

We were all in hysterics at Peter's stories of him and Jasper in college. They were apparently pretty wild, and when he told a story about Jasper passing out in their neighbor's bath tub naked, I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Rose shared stories about us all growing up together and some were funny, though most were bittersweet as they included Emmett. Tanya told everyone about the day she met me and Emmett, and my cheeks burned in response. I'll just say they walked in on us in a compromising position… A very, very compromising and pretty creative position.

Angela and I reminisced about the library and gossiped a bit about some of the crazy people who worked there and the even crazier folks who came in for recreation. Her cheeks were in flames as she described the extremely unattractive, overweight couple who liked to come in to sneak in the back of the stacks and have sex. Poor Angela walked up on the couple on three separate occasions, and it seemed that the image had been burned into her brain.

Ben shared a few stories about Angela as a teenager. Apparently, she was big into punk and had a bit of fun experimenting with drugs. She also had a Mohawk that changed colors weekly. It was such a stretch to imagine prim, proper Angela looking and behaving this way and it made me laugh. She was cute as she defended herself. "Hell, everyone has their rebellious stage. Mine just involved coke, combat boots, and Minor Threat. I'm not embarrassed," she said strongly, playing with an imaginary thread on her designer jeans as we all laughed.

Tanya shared the story of falling in love with Rose and everyone smiled at the looks they shared. Those girls were so in love. They were also ready to leave. Tanya had been away from Jacob for a little too long and the proof was showing up on the front of her shirt in small, wet circles. She needed to go feed him.

After hugs, kisses, and promises to get together again soon, the rest of us settled down in the living room. We all separated into couples and cuddled up to watch some movies. We watched American Graffiti in relative silence and when it was over, I looked around to find Angela and Peter were both fast asleep, with Ben and Charlotte looking like they weren't far behind. Jasper walked them all over to his house and got them settled down for the night. Everyone was too tired and we had all had too much to drink for us to even consider letting them drive home.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth and climbed into bed to wait on Jasper to get back. I was just dozing off as he slid between the sheets. He pulled my body close to his and I ran my fingers softly over his ribs, loving how his skin broke into gooseflesh at my touch. "I love you," I whispered against his chest as I dropped wet kisses over his skin.

"I love you, too, Girl," he said with a grin. "I had a good time tonight."

"Me, too. We need to do that more often, huh? Maybe next time they can all bring the kids."

"Yeah, that sounds fun," he said, distracting himself by brushing his fingers across my breasts. He kissed and licked my neck and chest before settling me against his body to sleep.

"Jasper, you suck!" I laughed.

"I'm sorry, Baby. I always want you, but I'm fucking tired!" he said with a huge yawn.

I rolled onto my side, facing away from him and we tangled our legs together. He wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me tight against him. "Sweet dreams," he murmured as he fell asleep.

"Night, Jazz," I whispered, falling almost immediately into a deep sleep.


End file.
